Scribbles of A Girl

Of Fashion Shows and Such

2012-02-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

Happy Belated Valentine's Day everyone! And so, Scribbles of A Girl is yet again late for another major pop culture celebration! But that is not why I wanted to blog.

I've finally gotten a chance to watch the Polyvore Live fashion show! I wanted to catch the live streaming but I can never get the time right. All those GST and what not... I did pay attention in Geography class but lets face it, I can never get it right. If you wana check it out, you can watch it here.

It's so great to see top bloggers (fashion bloggers of course!) walk the runway cos they're real girls! (With the exception of some who are actual models.) Thumbs up! Design, not something for me to jump up and down for but there were a few that caught my eye. Good enough, no? For a novice fashion blogger myself, that is. This year, I made it a point to take note of Fashion Week dates. Don't wana miss out on all the fashion goodness! (And also to keep up with other fashion bloggers!!!) But mine will be rather outdated as I don't get any invitation to all those fancy shows and watch them live. :(

After watching this fashion show, I now know why ordinary girls cannot walk the runway. :'( The height, the skinniness (is there even such a word??), the symmetry and uniqueness of a model's face, makes all the difference. Or is this what society paints what a model should look like? But alas, there is a reason for it as much as we'd love to say to some models,"GO EAT A BURGER!". We ordinary girls must also face the fact that some are just born with unique facial features and height that is coveted by many designers.

There's so much debate going on about how the size of models make girls turn to extreme measures just to look like one. Let's face it, with or without images of skinny models, women will still be unsatisfied with how they look like. It's a fact of life! Personally I like seeing them. But I do agree that some designs calls for curvier women. Anyway, skinny girls does not mean beautiful. Some were born that way and more often than not, they are not happy with how they look because they're so skinny and tall and are made fun of. It's so wonderful to see stories of how awkward girls who were bullied are being scouted by modelling agents. It's a turn around for them, a sweet revenge so to speak.

But this is such a subjective matter. I shall not go on otherwise this will turn into a debate. I hope to blog more. Wanted to do an outfit post but I do not have someone to photograph me.

FTP!

2012-02-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

It's been many weeks since my trip to KL. Been meaning to blog about it alas, procrastination got the best out of me! Also, this blog has missed major events such as Christmas and New Year's and Chinese New Year. A thousand apologies!

Anyway, I went to KL just to go for Foster The People's concert. And I must say, the concert was awesome!! Thank God I was able to catch them live cos they are one of my favourite bands! And as you can see, I did a little shopping. Hihi. A must when I am there I suppose. I didn't think of shopping but my father gave me some money so I thought might as well spend it.

From top to bottom:

1) Mango sling bag. Bought it just so that I can keep my stuff while going around in KL.

2) Hobo bag. Bought this at Brand Outlet.

3) Close up of hobo bag

4) Black dress. This was not bought in KL but here in Kuching at One Jaya. This was for Christmas.

5) Skinnys. I just had to get a new pair, especially in this colour! Also bought at Brands Outlet store. The best part? Buy 2 pairs for RM100!

6) Zipper detail of skinnys. This was what caught my eye!

7) Some blouse bought at Isetan. I love baggy tops.

8) Close up.

9) Pull&Bear tank. I liked the prints on this one.

10) & 11) FTP tee! The design kinda reminds me of All The Wild Things. Kinda creepy but I just had to.

12) Striped shirt bought at BO as well.

13) Vans sneakers! Finally! My teenage dream have been fulfilled.

Can't wait to do outfit posts! :)

Heirloom

2011-12-03T11:21:00.001+08:00

Last week was a wedding of a cousin of mine and I had the pleasure of being the bride's maid. I had a tonne of fun with my cousins! The pictures here are from the wedding dinner. I decided to go for a somewhat old Hollywood glamour with a touch of my ethnicity.

On the first picture, I am actually wearing my mother's ball gown that she bought somewhat 30 years ago for a ball when my father still served as a police. Next to me is my mother, of course. My father picked the colour and I must say, my father have good taste! And my mother already had my older brother and sister when she wore this. Truly amazing!

For the second picture, I tucked the corners of my dress underneath my belt to give it a more modern look cos that night, my cousins and I were performing a dance. We danced to T-ara's Roly Poly so I had to do something about my dress. Thank God I had this idea!

The belt belongs to my late grandmother. Basically everything I'm wearing is an heirloom. This belt is the original belt the Bidayuhs use on their costume and it's such a privilege to have it. I remember my grandmother wearing this with her sarong when she was still alive. Now, I'm already having so many ideas to use this belt. It's great to make an ethnic piece modern. And it's always beautiful to have clothing or items that have a story behind it.

What heirloom pieces do you have? It'd be great to share clothing items that have a story.

Love, Black.

2011-12-01T13:32:00.001+08:00

Shirt: Given; Necklace: Sinma; Jeans: MANGO; Platforms: Emilio Valentino; Bracelet: FOS; Clutch: Mom's

I really have a thing for black accessories. They just look so edgy and rocknrolla!

I wore this outfit yesterday to class cos I had to wear these wonderful platforms that I just got! It's just so...me!! It was really bought on impulse. Very bad but very pleasing to the eyes and really gives me a boost vertically since I am rather vertically challenged. Thank God for artificial heightening! Also, I just downloaded Photoscape and I really had fun editing my photos with it. So easy to use! Highly recommended.

The t-shirt right here is actually shirts that we use during funerals. But I find white shirts make really good basics. Is it bad luck? Who cares! I am constantly blessed with hand-me-downs recently and am having a tonne of fun playing around and finding new ways to wear my clothes (and not to mention spend less!). I highly believe there are 2 things (maybe more?) that you should try not to go cheap on: jeans and shoes.

Do keep following my blog as I have really exciting things coming up after my finals! Even I myself am so excited! I'm gona do some collaborative work with my friend so please, stay tuned! I really hope it turns out well.

Experiment

2011-11-14T22:38:00.001+08:00

No fashionable posts from me yet but I did some experimenting when I reached home. Intended to take a nap cos I have a test tomorrow but I ended up doing this. I'm really happy with how it turned out! What do you think? :D

Fall Colours

2011-11-06T16:11:00.000+08:00

Wearing: Blouse - 2nd hand; Circle Skirt - thrifted; Platforms - Nose; Belt - 2nd Hand; Necklace - Sister's.

So this is what I wore today for church this Sunday morning. And now, am listening to Swedish House Mafia. Dope I tell you! Boring day that's why I decided to blog! My updates? I got a new phone with superb camera so I'll be snapping a lot and therefore, my blog will be updated often now. Yeehaa! I got the Samsung Galaxy SII in WHITE. Totally loving it. All the pictures I took right here, are all from this phone so it's definitely being of good use to me. Also, it's my new personal assistant! All my class, daily schedules are in it. Plus, I can blog on the go if I want to as well! Sadly, I will have to say goodbye to my old journal of which I call my 'Blueberry' because it was where all my important dates are. I liked that Blueberry came with a map of the world so that I can dream of all the places that I wish to go to and know some Geography. It has become obsolete once the new technology came in. Sorry Blueberry, hello Galaxy!

Noticed how my clothes are mostly 2nd hand or thrifted? Well, it doesn't cost a fortune to have style and look good. Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of imagination and inspiration to look 'expensive' as Alex Perry like to say. Old clothes can look current if you know the trick of the trade.

Items: Bag-Boulevard; Platforms-Nose.

Bass Down Low!

2011-03-29T00:53:00.003+08:00

Since classes have started, I find it impractical to wear something too girly to class due to the nature of my course, dressing girly is not really an option. Dev is definitely an inspiration cos she's so effortlessly cool but hot at the same time. I like that cos I need to be comfortable but stylish at the same time. Here's her video, Booty Bounce.

Gotta Catch Up!

2011-03-29T00:18:00.005+08:00

Hello everyone! Sorry for the really long hiatus. Got caught up with school work again. Busy, busy, busy. Plus, my camera's busted so I pretty much have to rely on friends to take my picture for me. Right now, I'm waiting for my dad to get me this baby...

A Sony NEX-3!

Since I don't like the idea of carrying a bulky Canon EOS or bother with manual settings on a Nikon, Sony NEX is perfect for me. (I'm just so lazy!) Maybe next time I'll get those professional cameras. For now, this will do.

About two weeks ago, my friend Syaza of Bloobs. Blurbs. from Miri came over to Kuching! I'm so glad she came to visit! Cos I miss her LOTS! She is another fashionista friend of mine. I have to say she is really good at make up eversince she moved back to Miri. We had a really good time catching up. Here's some pictures to share...

The guy in the picture is my coursemate/friend/2nd or 3rd cousin, Gio. Haha! You should drop by his blog! I guarantee you, it will never be a dull moment.

I fell in love with that hat in the last picture that I wanted to just walk out of the shop with it. Haha! I just can't afford Roxy but I bet I can find something similar to this hat somewhere in the streets for a fraction of the price.

Pretty Eyes

2011-03-07T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone! Sorry for the sudden hiatus. Classes started on the 21st of February and life has been a roller coaster ever since! Not that I've been busy studying, but I've been busy hanging out too much! First day of class was definitely crazy but for now, I don't have much time to elaborate on it as the semester has shortened from 14 weeks to 12 weeks. So tests and stuff are coming in a week or so.

I have good news! My camera is broken! I'm happy cos I can get a new camera though I have to wait. I'm just very unhappy with the Nikon S220. Even my ancient IXUS 100 is wayyy better than that piece of crap. Also, during the weekend, I had my haircut. Nothing different just my usual wash and cut. The only thing that's different is that the guy styled my hair differently. I thought he was gona make it super curly but he blow it straight and gave me loose curls! I was devastated! It just made me look like my sister! It's nice but I wasn't gaga over it. Kinda makes me look older and serious.

Tada!

That's all for today so I'm gona leave you with this pretty picture I took of myself (now that came off as vain....).

pretty eyes staring back at me so brown and wide
the colors of the summer sky
the colors of the world
if love is blind, why do i see you so clearly now?
perfect vision of our love somehow
you take over my mind oh,
look up into the galaxy tonight
the stars illuminate the love we make

cause you and your pretty eyes
you keep me alive, keep me alive

pretty eyes you're the one that keeps up all night
i know, no one else could make me feel this way
i want to look up into the milky way tonight
the sky illuminates the love we make
the love we make so bright

cause you and your pretty eyes
you keep me alive, keep me alive

as the moon shines its light on you
your pretty eyes they glow
tell me that you'll stay the night
just stay a while

Pretty Eyes by Alex Goot. You really should check it out!

oh, the fifties....

2011-02-20T16:15:00.003+08:00

What I'm wearing:

Polka dot scarf - Vincci accessories; Tank top - F21; Heart necklace - Vincci accessories; High waisted skirt - Zigzag boutique; Boots - Fashion Girl boutique.

I definitely love vintage stuff if you haven't already know. Hahaha. This outfit here definitely channel some 50s vibe. It's also relevant to the weather here.

Also, I took this picture using the panorama function on my Sony Ericsson K770i Cybershot series phone. I like it!

Black + White

2011-02-17T22:48:00.005+08:00

I felt a sudden burst of creativity last night and had great ideas of what to do today. I got this very lovely white dress with black lace back it 2006 from a boutique called "blook" at Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur.

It's been a while since I attempted to take my own pictures. The last time I tried was back in 2007 and then my passion for photography just died. Sad right? It just...died. And now it's back. After like, 4 years?? Kinda long for inspiration to come back. Turned out pretty good and I'm pleased with it.

So today's Thursday and tomorrow's Friday and then the weekends and then hello classes! Oh, how time flies! I'm not looking forward to it and at the same time, I do. Not looking forward to it because it's gona be yet another crazy life ahead of me (not to mention waking up early!). Excited cos finally I have something different to do and have a reason to dress up rather than wearing some baggy old t-shirt and boxer shorts everyday.

If you like this look, please help me 'hype' my look on the link below. Thanks!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

Fireworks and Romance

2011-02-07T23:15:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Gong Xi Fa Cai! It's the year of the Rabbit! May this year be fruitful and may you multiply in wealth and health!

Last week, on the 3rd day of CNY, my family and I went for breakfast in town. This man smoking with a pipe really caught my eye that I had to take a picture of him. The pipe was interesting as I have never seen a man smoke using a pipe!

Apart from Chinese New Year being the highlight this month, there's also Valentine's Day. So I decided to come up with an outfit to fit this occasion. I went through my closet and found an old dress my cousin gave me. I didn't like it because it was pink. I hated pink last time but now, I just enjoy it as another beautiful colour. And since pink is such a romantic colour, I had to use this dress. It's also really pretty!

For my hair, I'd like to accessorize it with this beautiful garland by sereni&shentel. It's such a beautiful head piece that goes so well with this outfit! I wish I could afford it though.

Here is the dress that I kept. The flowers just look so dainty and romantic.

And finally, strappy off white sandals from Nose to finish off the look.

Let's go indie

2011-01-27T22:36:00.002+08:00

Bowler hat. Random indie people. Foals' album cover.Vespa. Photo of indie style photographer, Jonathan Leder.

I am currently inspired by this song called Spanish Sahara by a band called Foals. I totally love the vibe in the music. So today's inspiration would be indie music. Or is it indie? Anyway, I like songs that have some Coldplay vibe in it. I guess I have a fetish for British bands. I would definitely want to dress indie more often. And I do dig guys with messy hair, dreamy eyes, checkered shirt and is in a band. Haha!

So this is the song that inspired me. Enjoy!

Photo credits: Pasta Primavera, My Modern Met, Pequenas Estorias, Stockholm Streetstyle

we could be a band of hippies...

2011-01-25T22:05:00.002+08:00

Graphic tank - Forever 21; Racerback tank - Button Up; Jeans - MANGO; Shoes - Converse; Shades - borrowed; Bracelets - Sinma; Ring - Chamelon.

The madness that goes on on Sundays. I love these bunch of people.

I love this graphic tank that I bought at Forever 21! By far the best find ever! I am so looking forward to hot sunny days to wear more tanks and shorts though Kuching has not been so cold anyway. Haha. We only had crazy rain for a week and today it's crazy hot. I'm so not digging the extreme weather though.

Pure Seduction

2011-01-20T22:32:00.002+08:00

On Monday, I bought this Victoria's Secret's Pure Seduction Refreshing Body Mist and I love the smell so much! So sweet and true to its name, purely seductive. It smells so girly! It has a tinge of innocence but yet alluring. I like that. I bought this from a friend of mine. It only cost me RM20 cos this is the miniature bottled version. If you like, you can get it here.

Let's Have Some Fun

2011-01-17T15:30:00.003+08:00

Blazer - thrifted; Dress - Forever 21; Necklace - Sister's; Charm bracelet - Sinma; Boots - Fashion Girl; Glasses - Alyssa's.

It was suppose to be an ordinary Sunday afternoon. The usual routine of going to youth fellowship after church service. It's then that we decided to just take pictures. Well, I asked Micheal to take for me for this very blog. Haha. Thanks for the wonderful pics Mikey! =D

Personally, out of all the pictures, I love the 4th picture. The one with the dude. He's my brother from another mother, Shaun.

The other dude in the last picture is Raphael. The guy that took my picture here in this post.

We're totally different people but we share one thing in common - we're Bidayuh! Though among the three, I'm not purely Bidayuh. Only half. Okay. So maybe we're still different. Doesn't mean we can't be friends. =)

Posing for the 3rd photo was actually Alyssa's idea. I called her a visionary. LOL. And she borrowed me her glasses for it. It gives that corporate, secretary like or should I say in Sarawak's local language skema look. (It means 'rigid' by the way) Many thanks to Alyssa as well!

Inspirations

2011-01-13T11:10:00.002+08:00

Today's inspiration: Stacked bracelets. Blazers. Black. A little pop of colour.

Photo credits: Stockholm Streetstyle, The Sartorialist.

A Sunday Afternoon

2011-01-12T00:13:00.002+08:00

Necklace - PhatCulture.com; Tank top - Forever 21; Jeans - Pop Soda; Boots - Fashion Girl; Cardigan - Pull&Bear.

Hello ladies! This photo was taken by my friend, Raphael. Meant to post this on Sunday but I got the pics kinda late. My parents came back from KL yesterday but they did not come back with the leather jacket that I asked for. My mum meant to get it for me but she did not know where to get it. But it's okay. It's not that important. One can still be fashionable without a leather jacket, no?

It's been raining since last night in Kuching and some parts are starting to flood. The rain has stopped now. Hopefully there's no bad flood after this. The rain was so bad that even one of the airplanes skidded off the runway! Thank God, no one was hurt! But I heard they had to close the airport for awhile.

Inspiration

2011-01-05T13:20:00.004+08:00

Photo credits: Stockholm Streetstyle, Natalie Off Duty.

Went through the world wide web yesterday to gain some inspiration and lookey what I found! Some pretty pictures. =) The whole idea is the effortlessly beautiful look. Relaxed and all. I like it. Hope you're inspired too!

Falalalalalalalala...

2011-01-03T22:46:00.003+08:00

Oh wow! I've been away for so long! I see cobwebs on my blog already. I know it's way overdue but...Merry Christmas! I'm still in Christmas mood! After all, today is the 10th day of Christmas. ;-)

So how are you all doing? I've been good. Really good. Right after exams, my holidays were jam packed with caroling, visiting my grandma, day trip to my dad's village and going for parties. It has been non-stop until today that I finally get to sit down and really do some house work and some of my own things. Don't wana bore you with a long post on what I've done but I'm gona summarize my Christmas and New Year. It was awesome and that's all you get to know. =P

Today my mom made me and my siblings to go to her friend's for dinner. The scenery was nice but unfortunately, it was dark so I couldn't take much nice pics. Here's a few outfit shots.

Shirt - Pull&Bear; Skirt - momoe; Belt - vintage; Shoes - Fashion Girl; Bag - some boutique at OneJaya Mall.

Be Patient, I'm A Work In Progress

2010-12-09T20:00:00.004+08:00

I know I've not been updating much on things substantial but do be patient as I already have thought of what I wana do once my exams are over. Expect something more exciting, more pictures and the likes. It's gona be like imagination let loose. I myself can't wait for it but I have to focus on studying for the mean time. So I'll see you lovelies soon! =]

Kuching

2010-12-07T10:27:00.004+08:00

All shots were taken at the back alleys of Kuching. Who knew they were so beautiful? Although it needs a little cleaning up (city council, mayor, take note!). But still, there's beauty in it.

Top: Wheat grass + C. Which is just wheat grass drink with added evaporated milk. My brother ordered this. It's in JUMBO glass! The first I've seen in Kuching. Usually you get big, huge glasses in coffee shops at West Malaysia or at Singapore. But now it's available here. Can I say Hallelujah? You betcha.

Below: A typical breakfast in Kuching. Mee Pok with Char Siew Oil. Translation: Dry Noodles with Barbecued Pork Oil. Hence the redness. Doesn't look appetizing but trust me, it's delicious.

I had breakfast with my family at Chong Choon Cafe. The breakfast place for Sarawak's legendary Sarawak Laksa. You have to wait from early morning for the best. Or so they say. I've not tried the Laksa here yet. The stall wasn't open (I think we're a bit too late for it) and I didn't feel like eating Laksa today.

Oh, Anthony Bourdain visited this very coffee shop for a bowl of Laksa.

The Study Attire

2010-11-30T21:17:00.003+08:00

Studying makes me feel unfashionable. I've been so tired the past few days that I just don't feel like dressing up. I hope I do soon! I look so depressing sometimes. But at the same time, it's cool. Funny.

I look stressed out, don't I?

Cardigan and tee, Pull&Bear; Jeans, Pop Soda; Shoes, Converse; Bag, Topshop

I love my Topshop bag. It served me well. It's one of those expensive stuff I've ever owned! And worth buying since I use it a lot and has not failed me. When I first got it, I was more worried about people stealing the bag than the content itself! But I don't have to worry about it now since nothing has happened yet (or should I still?). Yeah, I should.

Ok, I should get back to studying now.
Does Energy and Motion sound exciting to you?

These Boots Are Made For Walking

2010-11-29T11:32:00.004+08:00

Hello all! I know I've been away for quite a while. My grandpa passed away recently and I had to go back to my mother's home town. When I got back, I had a test (which I did not do so well in), I had some assignments to finish off and my exams are coming soon! Yikes!

But it's all good. All taken care of. I just need to study and now I'm back again! So glad to be able to blog again! =)

After my grandpa's funeral, I realized that I don't have an LBD. It was sparked by my aunt's comment on how in the West, they would dress smartly in black at a person's funeral. I don't have an LBD! I suppose I just really oppose black. Not that I don't like it. I want to avoid having too many black items in my closet.

I guess my next mission is to hunt for the perfect LBD:
Something decent but age appropriate in an affordable price range.
Sounds hard to look for!

I finally got my ankle boots and it is PERFECTION! A simple look can look so va-va-voom with these boots on. It's amazing how a pair of shoes can just take a look to a whole new level. Didn't take many shots though.

Blouse, sister's; Jeans, Pop Soda; Ankle boots, Fashion Girl Boutique

Oh Day...

2010-11-18T21:59:00.005+08:00

Today was yet an unproductive day for me. I really was not in the mood to study at all! After this post, I'll try to motivate myself again.

I wore my brother's gift for me from Korea to class today. But I kinda 'dissected' it cos it wasn't figure flattering for me. This is what I meant by 'dissecting' it...

I wanted to take a picture of me wearing it. I even brought my camera to class and wanted to ask my friend to take a picture of me. But I totally forgot about my camera. I guess I kinda had a hard day due to some unnecessary stress which kinda made me forget about it. Oh well, there's always another day.

I've been wanting to get a pair of black peep toe ankle boots lately and I saw one which I fell in love with and have been saving up for it. I hope I can get it by this week. By hook or by crook, I must get it. Here are some pictures of some lovely ankle boots.

This is one shoe I would love to have. =)

Image sources: Natalie Off Duty, Violent Green, Frou Frouu

There's So Much Fun In Our Own Backyard

2010-11-17T19:36:00.010+08:00

Sheer top, sister's; Floral peplum skirt, Zigzag boutique; Strappy sandals, Nose; Watch, Kenneth Cole; Brown floral dress, absolutely; Cardigan, Fashion girl boutique; Vintage bag, boutique; Vintage belt, my mom's; Platforms, Nose.

Today I finally get to do what I've been planning to do for weeks! I finally got my friend, Guinevere to take pictures of my personal style. I've been bugging her a lot about this. Haha. Poor her. I've been wanting and itching to share my fashion sense with the rest of the blogosphere. It's a holiday today anyway. And I've done it!

In case you're wondering where I get all my clothes, I don't usually shop at the same place but I do have my favourite places. My current muse is One Jaya at Jalan Song. I love the choice there! I bought my brown vintage bag there.

Some items I got were cheap. Some were moderate. Some were pricey (for me anything over RM60 is pricey!) and some were just free. I don't really buy expensive and branded goods cos I can't afford. But I do have a few as they were like presents. The things that I buy never goes over a hundred. Not unless it's something that is so hard to find in Kuching and I really like it, I'd try my best to get it.

I got this pretty brown floral dress from Absolutely Dress[ed] Gallery. I loved it the moment I set my eyes on it! And I never regretted having it. It had that vintage feel to it so I decided to pair it up with the vintage belt and bag and also layered it with the cardigan. For the other look, I was inspired by other fashion bloggers with their sheer tops. So happened I saw it in my sister's room and decided to pair it with my peplum skirt that I've had for a while now. And I got this look. Voila!

I hope you enjoyed this post and I do hope to get some feedback! If you like, please do follow my blog! I'd really appreciate it! =D

MANGO Adventures

2010-08-31T15:20:00.005+08:00

Today's Malaysia' Independence Day or is it Malaysia Day, I don't know. What better way to spend a nice sunny day with shopping with my favourite girls - my mom and sis!

Had a good gu bak mee at Green Hill Corner and off to The Hills we go. We stopped by at MANGO or MNG and my sis and mom decided to buy something there. I took the opportunity to try on some clothes cos I've always wanted to do that but never did! So I tried on these....

This was my favourite outfit to try! It's my first time to try layering. Turned pretty good! I shall call this my MNG Fall/Winter 2010 look. =)

I love the colour of the dress!

This playsuit is just so adorable! Prefect for our ever-summer weather!

I always had this crazy idea of trying on stuff that I can't afford. I mean, since I can't buy them, why don't try them on? And I got to do this today. When I got out, my sister asked if I wanted to buy. I just told her that if that's the case, I'd buy all three or the whole shop! Haha...MANGO's like heaven for me! I think I could mix and match and create a whole new outfit with the whole store!

Wandering Eyes

2010-08-30T01:11:00.002+08:00

I'm back from the Church Camp! I have to say I learned many things. Despite the speaker being the Bishop of Kuching, he actually has something substantial for us this time around as compared to last year. Unfortunately, I did not prepare my mind for it so during his preaching, I was 'on' and 'off'. Overall, I had fun. =)

I also realized that the camera loves me during the camp. Unfortunately, I do not love the camera as much as it love me. I'm not that daring enough to show my true affection for it. In other words, I'm not that daring to pose radical poses. And I can't really give a beautiful face. I'm just so shy to! I tell myself that I'm not photogenic when I was younger and contact lens was not that appealing to me. I was very camera-shy, I did not like to appear in pictures. Now that I've blossomed and I do admit I do think I'm beautiful but I really need to embrace it! I think the reason why I don't really want to embrace it is because I'm so scared I'll become so full of myself and forget what TRUE BEAUTY is all about. I think it's important for me to focus on what's on the inside than what's on the out.

I am blessed to be beautiful. I have genes to thank for that! Haha. I found out from my uncle that I actually have Dutch blood. That's why some of my relatives have orang putih look. (Genes tend to skip generations by the way.) One of them happens to be me. It's both good and bad. The good is that I look unique. The bad is, I look very orang putih which means people can't tell that I'm a Bidayuh. Unlike most Asians, I am very proud to be an Asian and I want to embrace every Asian feature that I have. But I do have a feature that resembles my Asian-ness - I'm petite. It makes me feel very close to my grandmother because my dad's relative would say that I look beautiful and small like my late grandmother.

It's funny how international students were asking each other "where are you from?" And I'm surprised they ask the exact same question to me! Don't I look like my countrymen?? =( It does make me feel 'alien' when people ask me that. But I do feel a little sense of pride as well. It's bittersweet, really. Some thought I was Eurasian and some thought I was....Italian (???). Dior's French! Ah well.

I'm gonna miss my brother. :-'( The house feels empty again.

I have tumblr by the way!

Understanding Christine 101

2010-08-06T23:04:00.003+08:00

The thing about me is.....I like to avoid problems. Because I think my life is already so complicated just as it is, I try to minimize the problems I encounter. Things that are worth complicating my life with, I will try to endure it. Things that are not worth even one second of my life, I'll just brush it off.

I'm a funny little thing back in school. Most girls would enjoy getting into fights. This girl doesn't like this girl and a huge he-said-she-said going on. Even though they look angry and say 'I hate her and why does this have to happen to me?!!', trust me, they enjoy every bit of publicity they get - even if it's bad publicity. As for me, I didn't wana trouble myself too much. Cos I acknowledge that my life is complicated enough that I know better than to get myself involved in a cat fight. It's just a waste of my time and my life. For a teenager I'm kinda matured compared to most. I have no idea why. Even I myself find myself weird. Thankfully, in most areas, I'm like any other normal teenager. Back then I was involved with lots of stuff. I had my studies to worry about. Church organizations, school activities. Thank God I wasn't in a relationship! The most memorable thing I did in my school life is struggling with the band accounts. Haha...all those paperworks and leadership roles I took is really challenging and I wondered how I got by. Seriously. Sad to say, I didn't do a very good job but I saw my flaws and hopefully in the future I am able to be better.

Now do you see why I don't like being involved in drama. With all those things going on, how can I possibly care bout petty things?? It just adds to the stress that I'm already under. I remember one time, a girl didn't like me because I was friends with her enemy. (Stupid right?) She said some really insulting things to my friend outside the toilet and me being me, I defended my friend lar. Start la ya....she wanted to 'wage war' with me. And I was like 'GREAT' *rolls eyes*. When I was nearby her, I can hear her talking bad bout me but I just ignored her. Say what she want lah, I've got no time for this. I was not going to give her the satisfaction of a reaction. She was like a dog barking at a tree. Do you know how satisfying that was? VERY! The opposite of love is not hate but not to care because when you hate, you still care to hurl insults at the person you hate. When you don't care, you don't acknowledge their existence at all. So which one is meaner? I'd say the latter.

I'm surprised that even after secondary school, she still detest me. While I totally forgot bout it. I do remember at times but thought how stupid it was. I mean, come on! After secondary school?? Really?? I've put that past behind me and there are more bitter memories than that like being ignored in class in Form 5 when it should be the time of my life. I'd say that is worse than being hated by someone I barely even know.

So...this is something about me. Hopefully it is interesting. I'm not like most girls and I hope to stay that way and keep my uniqueness. I won't lie to you, sometimes I do wish I am like any other girl but I understand the importance of making the right choices and I never regret any of the choices that I've made. Doesn't mean I never screw up either cos that's for me to know and for you to find out! ;-)

Cover up!

2010-07-15T18:03:00.001+08:00

I've got a new cover coming up! So stay tuned!

"Three months and I'm still sober......."

Let's Play Dress Up

2010-07-15T17:10:00.002+08:00

Now that I'm back to blogging, I decided to post my fashion inspirations. =) Do enjoy!

Crotchet and florals.

My mom made a crotchet top but she couldn't fit it so she gave it to me. I was wondering what can I do to make this crotchet top look fashionable and not granny-looking. So I came up with this combination. Didn't think it would look good together but it worked! Would be nice if it was a lace top though. But my goal was to use whatever is in my closet and make it current and I did! I feel so proud of myself!

Crotchet top - Mom's

Peplum skirt- Zigzag at Wisma Saberkas

Gladiator flats - Lea Centre

Black sling bag - Sister's

Black plastic bracelet - F.O.S.

Pearls.

Doesn't it look elegant?

Mom's.

Clutch - Mom's

This is an awesome outfit to go shopping or hang out.

Black long beaded necklace - Sinma, Boulevard

Tee - MJC (RM 12.90 only!!)

Denim-like shorts - American Denim, Boulevard (ONLY RM 19.90!!!)

Dream

2010-04-07T10:07:00.003+08:00

I am still wondering why am I doing Engineering. But then...I do know. It's so that I have money to start doing things that I want to do. I really want to start a business. The food business to be exact. And I can tell you I have CRAZY business ideas. But as they say, the best ones are mad.

Wouldn't it be great if you can turn fantasy into reality? Being in a different era or a different world?

I know I dream of the impossible but it is an idea that I believe would work.

Masks!!

2010-04-07T09:58:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!

It's been awhile. I wonder if anyone still reads my blog.

Anyway, I've been buying masks from my friend, Doreen and I can tell you that that stuff really works! It's from Taiwan. Usually I'm really sceptical about things from China or Taiwan. But it's been tried and true and I believe this friend of mine who studied Biotech wouldn't sell things that aren't good. Sides, Chinese and Koreans have great skin so I want to try whatever they use. Below's the blog link and go browse around for something you like and suits your face. (Psst..they come in cute packages too!)

GB

2010-03-20T22:41:00.002+08:00

Today was GB's Award's Day. An event where the girls get their awards for their hard work. I felt good about myself during this day. And at the same time, I felt bad. I felt bad because....I am actually deciding on not going for GB anymore. And yet....they are still praising me for my contributions.

Truth is, I have no heart for this. I have tried liking it. I did. And...it still isn't enough to make me wana come every week. Every week, I have to force myself to come. Like there is no thrill to it. I just can't be enthusiastic about GB as I can be enthusiastic about band. It's just not the same.

Throughout my 2 years in GB, (Gosh, that's how long I forced myself to go??) I can say that the girls are lacking or should I emphasize more, DESTITUTE of discipline. I know the officers are doing a great job on the spiritual part but not the discipline part. I think they are too concerned about the spiritual part of GB that they overlooked the discipline part. It's true that one needs to have Christ in their lives to be changed. But we need to remind ourselves that we are a UNIFORM BODY. And these are teenagers we're dealing with. I couldn't emphasize more. It is our job to try and impart discipline in them.

Honestly....sometimes I don't like what the girls post in Facebook. If I compare them to the band kids in my previous school, the band kids are a whole lot better. Band kids are what you call....what you see is what you get. The girls....some pretend. Best part about band kids is that not all are Christians and it's not all about Christianity but they are so much better than GB girls. Of course, when they are on field and doing work, they really do their work. Off field, they're like a bunch of hooligans. But at least they know when to work and play. The GB girls? Sad to say...they can't even salute properly. How la?

In my honest opinion, GB suddenly became a community centre. I watched on TV, a community centre is a place where they take in girls who have been rejected by their families - teenage pregnant mothers, teen mothers, delinquents etc. to do things for self-improvement like sewing, cooking and stuff. That's what GB suddenly become. But we are not a community centre. We're a uniform body! I really need to stress that.

These girls never really know what it's like to be enthusiastic. To look forward to something. In band, they LOVE coming for practice every week without fail. They just keep coming that when they don't have to come, they still want to come! Instead of begging them to come, we have to beg them to stay home! That's the kind of dedication band kids have. GB girls? No. I don't see that in them. I can see from some of their face and body language that they're not so thrilled to be there every week. They look like semadi jak mok datang...for their KK marks. That's all. Some are enthusiastic. But not the extreme kind that I see in band. It's just not enough.

I think GB Malaysia needs to re-evaluate the GB program. We have been using the same GB program structure since like...what? The 70s? What was relevant then may not be relevant now. Times have changed. Kids are getting more and more advanced. We need to cater for their current needs. How to get them interested and keep them coming. We need to revamp and be current to attract kids to come. And from there, we can sow God's word into their lives. But with the current structure, I don't think it's going to be very effective anymore. Us officers have that responsibility. In order to keep them coming, we need to keep updating.

As much as I would like to continue, my heart is not there at all. I know I will miss out on opportunities but if my heart isn't there, there is no point in being there at all. I need to humble myself to leave instead of keeping my pride by staying. I wana do other things. I hope I find a constructive one and one that I really love doing. Somewhere where I can really contribute. GB is not suitable for me. Unless there is change. I know....some may tell me,"Why don't you be the change?" I ask that myself a lot but I can't. There's a lot of work in that and I can't spend so much time on this. Besides, I want to be more involved in my uni.

That's all for now. I really need to let this out. I hope that I don't sound that I'm dissing. But I need to move on and keep searching what I really want to do. Where do I fit in. I need to.

Kuching Meets Singa

2010-03-11T10:49:00.002+08:00

Hohoho.....I'm back from Singapore!! Well...it's been about 3 days since a came back. Been lazy to blog about my trip but I shall do it today. Teehee...

What can I say bout my trip to Singapore?

Watch Paramore live. Check.
Meet Paramore in person. Uncheck.

Well, it was my first time overseas so I am definitely stoked bout this trip. And it was so amazing! Watching Paramore live in front of me still feels so unreal! It won't be real unless I meet Paramore in person. That would be much better. It's in my to-do list before I die. Meet them in person.

Hayley live on stage was unbelievable! She headbanged and jumped and run around the stage and she didn't even have pitch problems. It's like what you hear on the radio. It's like what you watch on a Youtube video. It's just....perfect! Perfect pitching on vocals. Awesome showmanship. She really knows how to connect with the crowd. Performers like her don't come around very often.

I got myself a Paramore T-Shirt. And I got interviewed (is that the word?) by MTV Asia. Well, some woman with a camera man approached me and ask if I would like to give a shoutout to Paramore while showing our T-shirts. So I got my friends with me and we gave a shoutout. Funny thing is we promoted Borneo more than we did Malaysia. =P If Paramore does come to Malaysia or better still, Sarawak, credits to us then. xD Despite not being able to meet Paramore and have a picture with them, at least I still get to have my moment with MTV Asia right? Hopefully Paramore saw my shoutout. I'm gona be mad if they didn't. Buang air liur aku jak. Hahaha...

Seems like I'm talking so much about Paramore that I haven't talked about Singapore yet. But Paramore...there's just so much to talk about, really. There's this group of crazy girls who I found out were from Malaysia too. They made a really nice banner just for this. And they started mostof the cheers before Paramore actually performed. I'm so proud of my fellow Malaysians. =] Btw, there's this girl in front of me who kept camwhoring. She kept taking the same angle for like...more than 10 times? Really annoying. It's not the camwhoring that's annoying but the flash. Gosh!! It really blinded my eyes la. Want to camwhore, please la....turn off your flash okay? And tukarlah angle. You won't look any different with the same angle. Some people....they are just too absurdly vain. Sempat also I took a picture of this camwhore. Hahaha....jaik kan?

Hayley actually said that Singapore was the loudest crowd they ever had. And I'm like 'Seriously??'. I bet she was just saying that to please us or something. And she promised that in 5 years time, she'll come again to Singapore cos it was just so fun. And I was like..."Hey...the crazy ones are from Malaysia!" LOL. =P But seriously. The people at the standing pen were like not doing so much. In a Paramore concert, one must headbang. And one must show the devil's horn. Personally, my friends and I should be in front to show them how it's done. Yeahhh....

Life at Singapore...hmm....is not a life I would wana live. Too fast paced. Everyone's rushing around me. Sometimes I'd like to just stop them and say "Hey, slow down. Enjoy life." with a smile on my face. That is what I think Singapore needs every now and then. I noticed that you don't see any overweight or obese Singaporeans. They are pretty much fit. Well, they rely a lot on public transportation. And my 3 or 4 days experience there showed me why they are kinda fit. I didn't even feel semput during the concert. The days walking around the city really prepared me for the concert.

It's tall buildings everywhere in Singapore. I've never seen a place where tall buildings are located so near each other. On the air, it looked like a LEGO display. Hahaha.... But shoppping there is definitely awesome. Let's not think of converting la ha. Food there's cheap too. I did quite a lot of shopping. Found really cute gifts for my friends and boyfriend too.

What I like a bout Singapore is that it's civillized. I can just text people out in the open without worrying that people would eye my phone and snatched it from me. Cos...well....people are mostly using iPhones or Blackberrys. Me? I'm using a very outdated k770i as compared to their phone. I can just listen to my iPod without worrying too. And I was sakai about the auto flushing toilets. Hahaha!! I like how organized thar city is. But...as I said. Not one that I would like to live in. I would die if you ask me to stay another day there.

The length of time that I stayed there was just nice. Reached Singapore pretty early and enjoyed the next 3 full days just getting lost in the city and doing some shopping. It isn't that expensive to travel there. As long as you know where to shop and where to eat. You won't go wrong. The 3rd night was the concert and after the concert, I felt that it was a great way to end my trip and I was ready and desperate to go home already. Hahaha....besides, I was missing him already.

So that's my trip to Singapore. And I got to see my favourite band performing live. It's just such a blessing to be able to achieve my dreams. When I first heard that Paramore's gona have a concert at Singapore, I thought that never in a million years I'd be able to go. But I did anyway. This experience is proof that I can achieve my dreams if I put some effort and take some risks.

In Memory of Jason Kiu

2010-03-01T00:09:00.002+08:00

On February 26th at 2am, I lost a friend. His name's Jason Kiu. Not sure if you guys know him but I can tell you he's a nice guy.

When I found out about this really awful news, I can't help but feel regret. I regret not maintaining a better friendship with him. You see, I was a classmate of his way back in Form 2. I sat behind him so naturally we became friends. We had awesome times in class. We're also Prefects at the time which was cool. Know why? We can go out early for recess. So sometimes we hang out in and out of class. The thing that I remember most about him was that he is definitely a very nice guy, who cares about his family, and is easy to talk to.

It is sad that a life of a person who is nice being taken away. Even more so that he is still young. He just turned 19 December last year. He barely made it to 20. Just gone too soon. He had a life ahead of him.

Prior to his death, he lost control of his car and it mowed down some wired fences and hit a huge tree. The car then overturned to the middle of the road. He didn't die on the spot but he died on the way to the hospital due to massive bleeding. Investigators believe the cause of his death is speed. The car he used was bought barely a month ago. A Honda Accord by the way.

I went to his funeral yesterday. A lot of people were there to pay their last respects. Many of whom are 20 year olds like me from SMK Green Road. Really great to see all of them again. Saw a few Swinburnians there too. Even the Chancellor, Mr. Helmut was there. It just shows how good Jason was. How one way or another, he impacted our lives.

The funeral was hard to watch. For most part, I was putting myself in their shoes so that I can digest everything one by one. First, his devastated sister. I imagined if it were my brother, I would be welling up like her because we spent a lot of time together and constantly advising my little brother to drive carefully but yet didn't listen. In a way, I would be questioning "Why didn't he listen??"

Secondly, the mother who was sobbing all the way after the funeral service ended. That was the hardest to watch. I can imagine, if that was my son......my only boy and my youngest....my baby..... I would be sobbing away like her. I also imagined if that were my own mother. Losing her favourite son like that. It's not a pretty sight to see.

Then there is the girlfriend that I saw at the burial site. If that was my boyfriend, I would definitely be hysterical. I can't imagine losing someone whom I love like that. It would hurt so much! Not being able to hear his voice ever again. Not being able to hug him anymore. Him not being there for me anymore. Losing someone whom you gave your heart to would feel like you lost your hopes of a future with him. And that feeling sucks. It is worse than a break up. This one I can relate to even more.

As for me, as a friend, I am truly shocked. Shocked because I didn't expect this. We take it for granted that just because we're just 20, we still have tomorrow. Truth is, we can go anytime. Cos we don't know what the future holds. But as a friend, I regret as afore mentioned. I have this habit of leaving the past behind. That instead of building bridges, I built walls around me. It made me think whatever happened to my friendship with him anyway? I did talk to him but it was just small talk. Somehow it didn't feel enough. I've seen him around in campus. I remembered the last time I saw him, I smiled at him. And....who knew that would be the last smiles we'd ever exchanged huh?

One thing that bothered me the most - a soul is lost. I don't even know whether this guy accepted Jesus Christ. We may be church going people, but that does not mean it gives us a passport to heaven. It just makes us bench warmers. I don't agree with the doctrine of praying that his soul gets to heaven after death but I believe in praying for his family members for peace. Sides, I don't recall ever reading it in the Bible. The getting to heaven part, I leave that in the hands of God to judge.

It was an interesting experience being in a Roman Catholic church. I got so curious along the way cos there were some things that they did that I don't usually do in my church. So there were a lot of 'why this' and 'why thats'. I do that in my own church sometimes. I do that eveywhere cos I believe I should have my own stand rather than believing in the God of my parents or fill my head with "He said, she said.". You never know whether people are intentionally feeding you lies or giving the wrong information. That is why it's important to question everything that's thrown at you and do your own homework.

Anyway, I lari topic edi.....

So.....I learned so much from this experience. And I certainly will not forget Jason Kiu. Because this reminded me and made me realize some things. That there are things in me that I need to change. And whenever I pass by Jln Ong Tiang Swee to campus, I will always remember. How can I not remember anyway?

Rest in peace Jason. I pray that the family of Jason Kiu would have peace and that Jesus will be with them in their time of grief. And that He would carry them through this hard time.

Amen.

I Love You

2010-02-11T00:19:00.002+08:00

Valentine's Day is just round the corner! This year, it is something that I look forward to. Now, allow me to be transparent and let out my affections for a special someone. It's not like I get to do it all the time, not that I like to show PDA anyway. But for this Valentine's Day, let me boast of my love (chewah!).

His name, Josef. Never have I fell in love with a man better than he. Just saying his name makes my heart skip a beat. Despite being together for more than half a year, it still feels like yesterday and I hope and wish it continues on like this forever.

For those who know me, I've not been with anyone since my first boyfriend and had my heart broken once in between. And I don't simply choose a guy. He may not be like any guy that graces the covers of magazines, or rich, or popular, but he is definitely a guy that has character and a gentleman - something that is close to extinction. Best of all, he is mom approved. =) I know that he may seem to be like a nobody but what people don't know is that nobodys are more faithful, more loving, more caring and very sweet as compared to somebodys. Somebodys would say sugar-coated words to make them more popular but nobodys will correct you, even though it hurts.

He understands a great deal about me, and when there are some parts that he don't, he'll make an effort to understand. He opens the door for me even if I don't want him to. Takes my bag for me even though I say that I am capable of doing that myself. I always think that I can do things alone but he makes me realize that I need help sometimes. He is the one that I can share anything with. He would tell me how I stand out from beautiful girls because of my character.

People ask me if I'm worried if he cheats on me. Why should I be? You should know whether the guy you wish to pursue is a player before you go with him. We started off as friends and gradually grew to love one another. In a way, we figured each other out. Slowly, but surely. Best of all, he is someone who shares the same faith. He is someone that I can talk about God with and pray with.

I just want you to know how much I do love you and that you are my pride and joy. You are someone that I boast to my friends whenever I can. And at the same time, I love how we kept things low. People don't even have to read this to know that we love each other. They just do.

I am definitely looking forward to that home cooked meal with you this Valentine's Day and the Chocolate Brownies. ^^, Nothing fancy, but I definitely love it. I don't wish to spend RM68++ for a dinner anyway. Why should we spend so much when I can cook a delicious meal for less than that, right dear?

Hugs and kisses.
I Love You.
<3

Harap maaf kalau sangat PDA. Skali jak. ^^v

Finally!

2010-01-19T22:19:00.002+08:00

Finally, after so many weeks since the New Year began, I have come up with a New Year's Resolution. =D

I noticed during the holidays, I've been staying at home. And the people I hang out with most during this holidays, are people from my church. The friends I have at Uni are mostly from Miri or elsewhere. Which means during the holidays, they're back at their hometown. So...this leaves me no one to go out with. Shoot! Friends from secondary school are all working. Sad. Which brings to my first resolution: Get a better social life. Cos I seriously think it's a drab. Ways to get a better social life: Join Swinburne Choir. Join the Drama Club. Join the Dance Club. I hope these measures would help me get a better social life. Also, I need to change my own mentality. I shouldn't be too choosy with who I be friends with. I should accept people as they are, no matter what.

Second resolution would be to work my ass off! Time to not be lazy! These few days, I'm trying to get busy with ANYTHING and try to get things done! This is also to get ALL revisions, lab reports, assignments etc. done ON TIME. I've learnt my lesson the last time of submitting late. My lecturer almost didn't want to accept it! That shall not happen again.

Thirdly, I want to be committed in EVERYTHING I do. I do not want to say yes to anything until I can fully commit. No more giving people empty promises and learn to say NO when I can't. Which reminds me....for Girls' Brigade, I'm gonna give myself one more year. If I am still not serious about it, I'm gona have to say asta la vista to it. Because the others are committed and the last thing they need is for me to bring them down due to my lack of commitment. So that's set!

Actually I thought that my resolution this year is to NOT make any resolution. But...we can't live a life without goals can we? We need a clear direction of where we want to go. Otherwise it would be a ship without a captain.

Pants On The Ground

2010-01-15T14:24:00.002+08:00

I was watching American Idol last night at midnight till 1am. Totally love Season 9! So intense and....hilarious! There's one in particular that I liked...Hahahaha.....He's a General and he's 62 years old! Can you believe that? And he's got some moves there... It's a song with a meaning...to tell you to get a belt or....You'll be looking like a fool with your pants on the ground! Here's a video for your entertainment. =)

I'm Going....

2010-01-13T09:58:00.004+08:00

Btw, did you know that Christine's going to watch Paramore LIVE in Singapore?

=D

Say what??

Even I myself can't believe it!!

It's definitely gona be my first time overseas. Minus the time I went there when I was a baby. That does NOT count. Cos I barely can remember ANYthing.

I can't wait to see this......

And this.....

And this...

And...she ain't a blonde nemore...

Gona get me some faux leather jacket when I'm at Singapore. If I can afford any, that is. Can't seem to find it here...Boohoo...

Time To Go~~~

2010-01-11T21:55:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!

I know you've all heard about the attacks on churches last Friday and I do believe it is a detestable one but I shall respond in grace. For I do believe REAL Muslims aren't like that. Am I right my Muslim friends? They are just a bunch of people who do not read or know of the Quran. And instead of protesting in peace, they protest in violence. Islam is a religion of peace. The group of imbeciles who threw molotov cocktail have just contradicted what they believe in and shamed their own people and religion.

But us Christians, we forgive you. For you do not know the basis of your actions.

Today, after much talk with my brother regarding his future, you know....which College/Uni he should go to since he recently finished his SPM. It reminded me that the time has come for me to apply for scholarships too. I was so fired up to apply for a scholarship last year but most were not open for application yet. Most of em open their applications around this time. Now that the time has come, it's like....wow, I'm applying for a scholarship! And to think that when I got my SPM results, I wasn't ready to leave Kuching yet. My results weren't that good either..

So I guess I shouldn't let go of the oppourtunity. My Foundation results are good. 3.5 for my first semester and 3.21 for my second semester. Though I didn't get all HDs, I'm proud of my achievement. It's better than any of my academic achievements in my whole life! I guess you'd say I shouldn't pass the opportunity to apply for a scholarship right? So I'ma gather up my gutts to apply for one.

And they asked whether I wana study in Malaysian Universities or Overseas....

I decided overseas.

=)

I have absolutely no experience living in a foreign place without my family. I am used to being apart from them though. But for a long time? I really have no idea how I will respond to that. Maybe for now I won't feel anything. But maybe when I get there I will. Perhaps it will make me appreciate my family more and not take them for granted.

Overseas....which country? I hate being cold cos my hands would freeze. So I decided that ANY country that snows is out of my list. =P Meaning US, UK and China. Which leaves Australia, Thailand and Indonesia. It is tempting to go to Thailand and Indonesia but I have to remind myself that this isn't a vacation. Hahaha..... That's when I decided Australia it is. Besides, it's a little closer to home. Geographically only....it's not like I can go home frequently...=( And it is also the end of the boyfriend.....I can't stand long distance relationships. Neither can he. And that IS the hardest to let go of.

This is a big step for me. And I am wondering whether this is God's will. But I will try applying for it. I'm sure if I leave it in His hands, He will take care of it.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T16:15:00.005+08:00

Hello people!!

First and foremost, I wana wish everyone a Happy New Year!!

I know...I've not been posting. Been busy! A lot of things were happening...and very fun...mostly busy with things at church. Carolling to be exact. When there's carolling, there's eating. I can tell you that I did put on weight. Two people that I have not seen in a long time told me that I put on weight. It's a good thing for me. It means that my metabolism rate has slowed down. But it also means that I have to start being a teeny weeny bit more concious about my weight, making sure that I don't balloon too much. I was concious bout my weight before this but more to putting on weight. Now, I have to focus on toning my body. I want the fats to be evenly distributed. =D

So how was your New Year's Eve? Mine was simple but great! Been having so much extravaganze that I just wanted it to be simple. We had a home cooked Western meal that if we were to eat out in a restaurant, it would've cost RM700 or so. But we spent less than that. Probably it cost around RM200 - RM300? We had Sausages, Bacon, Mashed Potatoes, Salad, Buns and Red Wine....it's an awesome family meal. I made the Mashed Potatoes. Hehe...made it so sinfuly full of fat! I put loads of butter for a nice golden look and great taste...milk for a softer texture...oohhhh now that's good!

I spent first day of 2010 and Sarawak Club's Golf Club. Went swimming and then had a relaxing time in the jacuzzi...awesome I tell ya! And we had lunch. We discussed bout getting my room a dressing table and stuff...and my mum suggested I swap rooms with my older bro since my room is getting too small for both me and my sis. Well...I will miss my old room but I do need a bigger room. What with my books and all...my keyboard....my beautiful orange striped sofa bed...my study table...I sure do need a bigger room! I am actually thrilled that I'm getting a bigger room...I can get to go crazy with my interior design cos that room's got a BALCONY!!! =D I've got a place to chill out!! I'm really, really excited!!! And I'm thrilled that I'm getting single bed now... All this while I've been using a queen size bed with my sister. I have to tell ya that I don't like it after the years. Since my mom gave the green light and daddy is willing to pay, I can go crazy with expressing myself. Yahoo!! Happy happy happy!!

Tonight am gonna have a cousin's night out at Secret Sanctuary...yayy!! I really am enjoying my New Year. =]

The bacon and sausage!!

Pretty....

The sinful mashed potatoes.

The salad.

Buns with butter as appetizers

A meal fit for a King?

Buns and wine.

My meal. =)

After the meal, we went to church for our night watch. That's where I do my New Year's countdown every year. Ushering in the New Year by praising God. Every year starts with God and ends with God. =) After the church service, went for New Year supper with Gwen, Elly, Frank, Raymond, Ruby and Tarang. =D Whoo!! It was definitely a blast!!

Hoho...

2009-12-08T21:39:00.002+08:00

I'm back to civilization! Well, on Sunday actually...but I was lazy to update. Heh. Carlag. You know? I mean, you have Jetlag for planes.....and Carlag for...cars. Okok...that's lame. =)

Recap of what I did recently.
5th December - Cousin's Wedding at Sri Aman
6th December - Come back for Sri Aman
7th December - First Dance Class
8th December - Clean House

As you can see, lately I've been domesticated. Reason being so is that I am bored and I want to do something else other than playing Facebook games all the time. Facebook is getting boring anyways. Plainly because I've been at it most of my time. It is time to learn and do useful things. I'd like to blog about my cousin's wedding some other time. As I am lazy to upload the pictures of it. But I'd like to blog about yesterday's dance class.

Well, I have had in mind to learn dance for a long time. The reason why I only started now was because I wanted to see if I was really eager and whether I can cope. But since I have the desire for almost half a year now, I decided to give it a try. Anyway, I need a place to vent my urge to dance in a club. I really don't wana go clubbing, even if I do like it. Because it doesn't benefit me. Dance lessons will be a great way to do it. Anyway, I could use some workout. My stamina's bad. Real bad since I left the Marching Band scene.

I'm taking my Modern Jazz dance lessons at Studio 23. Results? My whole body ached today! It was a really good workout! Cos the choreography involved almost the whole body. Especially the butt area. It's great for having a really good posture too. The moves is just what I wanted as well. Hee....very cool and yet not too sensual. It's the kind of dance that they use in Musicals and Broadway.

Too bad I can't take pics....Studio 23 doesn't allow that. But that's ok. I'm really enjoying it! =D

Another Day...

2009-12-04T22:02:00.002+08:00

Ahh....gona be away from civillization tomorrow. Boohoo.

Hmm....what have I been up to besides going through my closet? Went out with my dearest beloved on Wednesday. =D
It was a great night. It was the first time we went out that we really dolled up. Hahaha..... It's too bad we forgot to take a picture though. Cos all these while we would be in t-shirt and jeans and sneakers.

There is one thing I do not like about going on a date to spring is that we'll meet people we know. And when you want to keep things a little low profile, you just can't at going to tHe Spring. Problem is, all the good stuff is there! And movies! So I guess I'll just have to endure it and mind my own business. It feels weird for me. Hehe... Well, time to get used to it.

But still....I am not looking forward for tomorrow.. >.<"

One Too Many

2009-12-04T11:39:00.003+08:00

A few days ago, I decided to clean out my closet. Lo and behold, I have a lot of clothes. Too many, I should say. Felt a pang of guilt for being so greedy...always wanting more clothes. So I tried to decide which to keep and which to give away. After sorting, I still have too many clothes. -.-" And the pile that I didn't want, was a lot. Sighs. I guess I'll have to sort it again. These kind of things can really make me bingong. So much clutter. Anyway, instead of keeping it and letting it go to waste, why not bless other girls my age who don't have this kind of luxury? I was considering of selling some since it's still in good condition and still 'in'. I did say that I might want to open up an online store but...we'll see. If I have potential clothes to sell, then why not. Need cash to buy new clothes anyway. =P

Behold! My basketful of clothes!

So Waddya Think?

2009-12-02T00:40:00.002+08:00

So what do you think of my new layout?

Please drop your comment on Speak Your Mind.

The comment box seems cacat-ed.

What I've Learned

2009-12-01T19:56:00.004+08:00

It's been almost a week since my exams ended and I still haven't posted anything. Hahaha......

Well, I'm gona put the thought of my results aside and focus on making myself better.

This semester, I learned a lot actually. Especially about people. I learned that the people around you may be nice to you but behind your back, they say bad things about you. But I also learned that true friends defend your name when those things said about you weren't nice. And I also learned to be nice to people that have said bad things about me. Which in turn, made me win the war that I have never started.

But it did affect my self-esteem though. It took me back to when I was Form 5, the worse of my secondary school years. Anyways, the person that said bad things about me was my classmate back in Form 5. Weird thing is, he's a guy. Talk about man-bitch much! The worse part is, he's my lab partner. Sometimes it made me wonder, if you want me to change, why don't you just say it straight to my face? I guess he had no balls to do that. Instead, he told another girl who is his best friend and I thought she was nice but apparently wasn't and she said not-so-nice things about me. Too bad for her, the people she said stuff bout me were my friends, who knows me well. And the funny thing is, I'm not close to her.

Why say bad things about other people when you barely even know them?

Which is a lesson for me too. Always give a person a chance and have your own opinion of that person rather than believing what people tell you.

No wonder every time I am with that group of people, I feel so uncomfortable. My gut feelings were right. Those people, behind the facade of smiles, lies a black heart. Guess I'm not fit enough to fit in? I'm an awkward piece of puzzle. Those people is the group you would die to fit in. Seriously. They look like a bunch of nice people. Friendly....

But whatever.
I never do fit in actually.
Because I always want to be different.

To say they are a hypocrite?
Nah.
I'm one too.

To say they're fake?
So am I.

So what I did was just buat 'dek' and be nice.
That's all I can do.
Better I buat tak tauk than to make a scene. Cos I don't like getting attention. Especially the wrong kind of attention. I have a reputation to maintain.
The reputation of my Lord and King.
=)

2009-11-24T14:06:00.000+08:00

I can smell freedom. It is near......

Turning Over A New Leaf

2009-11-18T19:55:00.004+08:00

Hello people! =)

I've been on a long hiatus. Sorry about that. I thought that I could focus more without blogging. Alas, it didn't work. Haha.....=P

Well, at this point, I know it's too late for regrets and sorts but I have to say it out. I shouldn't have continued to degree straight one month after my Foundation studies. My results were out one or two weeks before the start of the semester and there was so limited time to evaluate which Engineering I wanted to take. But I felt a strong inclination towards Mechanical Engineering. However, the study mode just isn't there from the start cos my 1 month break before that didn't feel like a break at all. And so, right now, I regret not taking my time to continue studying. Cos I thought I would be left behind if I did. Kiasu ma. I felt that it would be shameful to be in a class with people a year younger than you. Then again....when I think about it, being left behind is no necessarily a bad thing. It is a lot more shameful when you didn't do well. I should have listened to my gut feelings but now it's too late. I wasted money AND precious time. *Sighs*

I was thinking of changing course....then again, I still feel that I want to continue doing Mechanical Engineering. I just want to do it again. Get a new start. Starting over isn't always a bad thing. Why the sudden regret? Well, just I was confronted by Halil, a classmate of mine since Foundation. He was like "Chris, kenak ku nangga kau macam x mok blajar jak.. Kau jarang masok class semua ya....nang lain bha. Last sem ko rajin masok class...pa kes tok?" Kinda struck me there for a second. I mean, I know I've been slacking and all....and I've been telling myself where my flaws are. But some things need to come from another person's mouth for a better realization. So I just told him that I've been slacking this semester. Seriously...my grades are getting worse. Seems like I don't want to study at all. All that money wasted. But I'll make sure next semester will be better. Like my old self. =) Maybe even better! =D

There's tonnes of things I wana do next holiday. The great thing about Swinburne is that, you study for 3-4months and you have 3 months' break. So I'll be on holiday for 3 months, yay! Cos exam starts next Monday and ends next Wednesday. We can say that one week from now, is my freedom from studying. Yay! Hehe....

The first thing I'd like to do is de-stress. I have been working my ass off this year. That there's been too many things going on and so, it is time for me to re-evaluate my life and say no to certain things. Because the hols after my Foundation studies was occupied with church events which took up a lot of my time and energy and brain power. Up till now, there was no break at all for me. It is time for a break. I've been overworking myself to the point where I became indecisive which is unlike me. So there are some things that need to be fixed.

This holiday will begin with relaxation and rejuvenation. Maybe retail therapy will go after that because I have been saving up my money for the next sales. Yay! =D Time to spend my money wisely and start saving for my future. There are things that I wana do with my money in future. I do hope that I will be on my way to develop my skills in drawing. I dream of becoming a fashion designer. And so, I have to take the initiative to develop my dream. I'm currently modifying a vintage dress that I bought last year for RM5 to make it more current and more figure flattering. So these are some of the things I'm gona do.

Apart from that, I wana help my mom do cooking cos I really miss cooking. =) And I wana learn more complex stuff from her. Since in the future, I will be a wife and a mother someday, I must be able to do these things. I wana clean the house, do some baking...argh.....there's so many things I'd like to do! I wonder whether 3 months is enough. Don't forget to add in procrastination and laziness as well in that time frame. ;-)

I shall start over. I shall fix myself. I shall be better.

Come what may for this semester's result, I'll have to not care. Because I didn't put in the necessary effort anyway. I just want to start over on the right foot, that's all. =)

But I need to make sure my GPA's a minimum of 2.00 for Yayasan Sarawak to continue funding me.
Meh.
How hard can it be to achieve that?
Hahaha....

It's great being optimistic.
=D

That's all for now!
Remember, starting over isn't necessarily a bad thing.
;-)

Oh yeah, I wana start dance lessons at Studio 23.
Modern Jazz dance, here I come!

Time to release all that stress through sweat!

Remorse and Regret

2009-11-16T20:40:00.002+08:00

I seriously have anger management issues. Not proud of it. But gotta admit it. The first step to be released of something is to confess it and then repentance. Anger consumed me and I acted out. Didn't think straight. Didn't think of the ripples of my actions. Now those close to me are hurt. Come to think of it, haven't been thinking straight lately. Too much going on...too much. I shall apologize to everyone. Really I am. I'm such a shit right now. It was stupid. Now everything in my perfect world is ruined. All because of one thing. Now people can't look at me the same. Unfair, because it's just one time but I accept it. I accept it no matter what. As a punishment for my wrong doings. After this, I shall take a break. Yes, a break is what I need. To settle personal issues. To let go of ALL the pent up stress for this 3 month's time. And for people to just forget about me. If only someone could just ask me how's my day...and allow me let out what's bothering me...perhaps, none of this would have happened. It IS my fault and I'm sorry but sorry does not change things. Kill me then if you hate my face so much. I'd rather you do that than for me to live right now. This pain is agonizing. And forgive me, Lord. What kind of example have I been to You anyway? Then again...I haven't been close with the Lord lately. Probably that is why. At this point of my life...there is too much going on. There are too many things that I worry about. Even little ones. Right now, I'm going to have exams, gotta polish up my assignments and balance everything out. My studies, I'm lagging behind. Far behind. And exam's next week. I'm a wreck at this point. Please, do pray for me. I am weak emotionally, physically and spiritually. It is not a pleasant feeling. Rehab is what I will need. I hope you all will accept my apology. If you don't, then it's fine. Is there anywhere I can run to?

2009-11-14T14:01:00.001+08:00

*jing jing jing jing* such a wonderful sound! Can't wait for it.....can't wait for exams to be over...and then it'll be *jing jing jing jing* oh, wat joyous sound! Hohohohoho.............

2009-11-06T01:22:00.002+08:00

I wish I could meet a really good computer programmer right now cos I'd love to ask him/her to do my assignment so that I can submit it tomorrow......ahh......Wishful Thinking.

Clubbing - Right or Wrong?

2009-10-29T22:28:00.004+08:00

So last night I went partying at Barzing for Sonia's birthday. It was the first that I actually partied in a bar and drank Tequila and Sex on The Beach. All paid by Keith. The last time I went with my cousins and I wasn't close to some of them so I didn't really dance and stuff.

Reasons for going Clubbing - Wanna try something new, out of curiosity, wanna dance!, so I can have my own opinion on clubbing.

When I got there, I just feel that I can't dance cos....how can you dance with people you don't really know? In the group, I only knew Sonia and Faisal well. The rest, I just met them so I'm a bit reserved cos you can't just trust people that instant. Plus they're guys and I didn't go with my boyfriend. I don't want to give them the impression that I'm available and it is not like me to throw myself at guys. I don't do that.

After the shot of Tequila, I kinda loosen up a bit and danced. =D I love the dancing part. And I do know how to enjoy myself. And Keith bought Sex on The Beach for Sonia and I. Still I can say that I hate alcohol because 1) it tastes like cough syrup 2) it has a burning and warm feeling inside my tummy that I don't like 3) it's not good for my voice 4) the feeling of getting tipsy is not pleasant. It's not my first time consuming alcohol but still....I never liked it and never will. It still intrigues me why people enjoy drinking it and getting drunk. The feeling is so not nice. Maybe because I like myself the way I am. I dunno.... And I don't think I can ever understand.

After the whole dancing session, we stopped and that's when I realized that I was getting tipsy and at my limit. I know I have to stop drinking. Kinda relieved that it was over then until I heard one of the gang suggested to go for another round at Monster Tongue. I was like "Oh man.....". I couldn't drive for a while cos I needed to get used to the spinning thing going on in my head so I let Sonia do the driving to Monster Tongue. In my tipsy-ness, Sonia asked me if I enjoyed myself and whether I'll be joining them in the future. I just honestly said "No.". Surprisingly I'm very honest in my tipsy-ness. But I have to be honest there and then. I don't mean to ruin her birthday and all....but this thing is not my thing. When we reached Monster Tongue, I just told them "Okay, I'm going home. See you guys!". Come on, I live with my parents! And I'm driving! I can't go home in a drunken state. My mom is cool about me going out late BUT I must not break her trust. If I go home much later AND in a drunken state, I'll be saying goodbye to her trust, goodbye to going out and goodbye car. So after explaining, they understand and let me go.

On my way home, I was telling God to keep me thinking straight while driving cos I need to get home safe and sound. Thank God I did. While driving, I was analysing the whole thing that happened. Honestly, when one of them suggested Monster Tongue, the Holy Spirit kinda prompted me to go back. Cos the moment that suggestion came, "Go back" kept resounding in my head. Also, I decided that though it was fun, I am not going to do this ever again. It's compromising my belief. And I am being among people who don't know God and follow Him. It reminded me of the Isrealites. God commanded them to drive out all the Ammonites, the Jebusites and the Peruzzites but they didn't. The consequences of what they did was they defiled themselves by inter-marrying with those pagan nations and the Isrealites began worshipping their gods. That was why God commanded them to eliminate everything even their children and women, it is so that the Isrealites will not worship other gods. And there I was with people of the world. Now, I may say that there's nothing wrong....I won't get drunk....I won't go over. But I know that if I go on doing this, I will say a different thing. Run from temptation, as said in Proverbs. What I see in there...girls indirectly selling themselves and of course, the excessive drinking and smoking, it is nothing a follower of Jesus Christ do! To continue going there would mean I am compromising and saying 'it's okay'. I do not want to compromise. I do not want to give up my faith. I am willing to stop clubbing and biar jak orang pikir aku tok alim. But I will never give up Jesus for anything. It's not worth it.

The Bible never said "Thou shalt not go clubbing". But I have my own opinion. If you want to go clubbing, go ahead. But I have made my own decision. I will not continue going clubbing. I have many reasons. Well, I guess by now you should know my ultimate reason for not continuing. For Christians, I kind of walking on a fine line and playing with fire. The Devil's all out to take us away from God. So....gotta be careful and make your stand.

Anyway, I can say....it's so easy to do all those bad stuff and get you conscientiousness seared. In one night, I learned all that. And to do what you do, I can do too. But to be a Christian, it's not easy. Stuff like these, I just have to give it up. Cos it's not leading me to the right direction. And I challenge you to be me. It's not going to be easy to take up the cross. I can cheat in my exams if I wanted to and easily too. But I didn't. I could've swindled people and take advantage of them but I didn't. All because of the fear and reverence of the Lord. Fear and reverence is like.....towards your parents. You still obey them because you love them. Same case as this. So....try be me for a day. Can you handle it?

Swinburne Dance Party 2009

2009-10-29T20:51:00.004+08:00

Hey guys! How you've been?

A lot of stuff going on but I couldn't blog about em due to crazy internet connection the past few days.

The Dance Party

So last weekend I went to Swinburne's Dance Party. It was fun! But what I didn't like about it is that in the midst of the songs, there will be some people stealing the limelight. Some people will be doing their moves and people would stop dancing and just go around them and watch them do a showdown. But...it's a dance party. EVERYONE should be dancing. EVERYONE should be participating in dancing...not just a few people.

People dancing on stage.

People watching those limelight stealers.

I enjoyed dancing with Mel, Joyce and Sonia. Man....Joyce and Mel can really move! And we don't even need booze to get all crazy and have moves. =]

Oh, and being a Swinburne student, we have a lot of benefits. We get discounts at certain bookstores, we've got the best facilities, great lecturers. And...in the library...you can see people actually studying and doing discussions. Awesome study environment. We even get discounts at certain cafes like 5 Loaves Cafe. Uhm....and that night, they told us that Swinburne students have discounts at Monster Tongue on Friday and Saturday nights. I wonder if it applies to all students but...discounts are discounts.

After the party, I bumped into my friend and she asked me whether I'm going to Monster Tongue after that. Like duh, of course not! I was on my way to Kado. Finally I tried that place. My.....the burgers are huge there! Haha!!! It's my first time eating a burger with fork and knife. I usually use my fingers. But in the end, I used my fingers. I just can't enjoy it eating burgers that way. Some pics while we were there...

My Beef Burger

Faisal taking a BIG bite! xD

Arvin and Faisal tengah suk makan.

JD took this pic.

Really...such an awesome evening spent with friends and my beloved. I love them and I love him so much! Such company is precious. =) Again, love you guys! =D

New Toys

2009-10-20T21:04:00.005+08:00

I got myself a new toy today! And I'm so totally syked about it that I just gotta tell the whole world!! Today.....I got myself ..................

MAKEUP BRUSHES!! Yahooo...........
I really love the makeup bag that it comes with it.

Got these darlings at Elianto for RM62. It's a lot cheaper compared to The Face Shop. But I believe you can find cheaper elsewhere but I do believe in quality. So Elianto should be alright. I decided that I like doing makeup even more after St. Faith's 40th anniversary dinner. The Youth Ministry did a skit and we did some makeup. However, my tools were limited so I couldn't do much. These tools are to serve me creatively. I really wana venture into stage makeup. And maybe you'll find this blog interesting, Kandee The Makeup Artist . She's got really interesting stage makeup going on there and I'd like to learn more.

More pics of my darling new toys...

My weapon of choice. The Face Brush.
I'ma smack yer zits with it.

As you can see, my photos were not edited. And so, you can see that my face is red and stuff but I don't mind. I shall show you how I really do look like without my makeup. I think I look beautiful just the way I am. And so do you! Also, I didn't change my shirt for this. I know the whole world is watching but there's a lot more important things in this world than to look beautiful....like saving people. That's more important. =)

This Weekend...

2009-10-19T21:41:00.003+08:00

So what am I gonna do this weekend? Last weekend I was forced to stay at home to try and complete my lab reports. So no going out that weekend. But this weekend I shall reward myself with going out after this week's load of tests and such. Boo.... I don't wana work.... I wana playy.... Anyway, this weekend, I decided to........ Oh wait. Before I continue. You all know how I like rock music right? Like Paramore and such. Well....guess what I decided to go to this weekend?

Yep...Swinburne's Dance Party!! ROFLMAO!!!

Believe it, I'm going. For the adventure and to hang out with my friends. =)
Non-Swinburnians can come too. Just come to out uni to get it! =D
See ya there!
For those who's going that is..

To Tingle Your Taste Buds...

2009-10-18T21:23:00.004+08:00

Hello all! Hope you had a nice Sunday. My Sunday's great as always, kick start the day with God. And after that fellowship with friends. It never gets old. After church will always be lunch and today, we tried some place new recommended by Aunty Alice. The place is called Kopitiam No.6, located at Jalan Song. We had some claypot stuff and it taste really good. We had Chicken Curry, Lamb Soup and Pork Leg. Yum..yum....

The Chicken Curry...this was my favourite! They added curry leaves to it which made it have that beautiful fragrant that makes me want to eat it!

Lamb Soup

Pork Leg!! We Dayaks must have this...

Later at night, my mom was having the 'Lazy Sunday' syndrome so we went out to eat. Went to Family Cafe at Hui Sing Commercial Centre and had the most amazing meal in the world. Seriously...nothing beats a simple Chinese restaurant serving non-halal dishes. All-in-all, it costs us about RM100++ for 6 people. So that means, RM20++ per person! Couldn't get any better... I remember St. Faith's 40th anniversary dinner at 4 points was terrible! And it's RM45 per person. I can honestly tell you that I can cook a better soup than what they made that day. It was pathetic. Anyways, snapshots of the food....

I Will Run This Race

2009-10-15T00:45:00.003+08:00

I was watching a video given to me by Tommy about Moscow Malaysia Fellowship. And a big thanks to him for showing me that video. Because I was touched and encourage and somehow convicted as well.

Moscow Malaysia Fellowship is a group of Medical students who have a heart for God. That's the simplest definition of it. And one of our youth member, Herman, is studying there and joined this fellowship. They started out small but they had a heart for God. And because of that, their numbers grew and kept growing! I admire such faithfulness and I admire how they love God and how they serve Him...and most of all....how they put God first in their life! As much as it amazes me, I am put to shame as well.

The vid makes me wonder how enthusiastic I really am for the work of God. Makes me wonder why do I keep living for myself when I should go and show and tell people about my God. Makes me wonder how far would I go to saving a life. So many people still have not known this guy called Jesus and are on their way to death....and I'm not carrying out my job to tell them about Him!

Many times, these things would remind me of my Youth Fellowship. How long will we go on like this? Stagnant. Seeing the same faces. How long? It discourage me most of the time. I really wonder how to tell people to come to youth and learn about God. Am I not friendly enough? Maybe. I don't know. At times, I get so burned out, I just wana give up. Like now.....giving up and getting distracted by other things. And fulfilling my selfish desires. I believe there is more to do. But I guess....after watching the video, the question I should be asking myself is.... Is my heart for God in the process? Sometimes, I get complacent. And going to youth or GB is another job for me. Just to attend. It shouldn't be that way! I should be excited! Thrilled to come every week to enjoy the fellowship of my brothers and sisters in Christ! Even if we are few...we shouldn't be discouraged by numbers......

I forgot how it is like to be in a youth fellowship where learning and worshipping God is fun anymore. Being one of the leaders can be mind blowing... Lord, I want that enthusiasm and that love for You like they have...or even better than what they have. Nothing in this world could matter apart from You. And I want You to be my first love! Having You is to have life....my studies....money and fame....brings me nothing but death still. Help me to set my eyes on You and You alone. For You are great...and worthy of ALL praise. I ask that You reignite my passion for You and for Your works that I will not fall. Help me too to not loose sight of You. AMEN!

The Hardest Thing Is To Be Yourself

2009-10-12T23:21:00.002+08:00

People say to impress a girl, you gotta go to the most expensive restaurant, the most expensive gifts and all that expensive shit..... But I beg to differ.

Everything is dollars and cents. If you can't afford it, why go to the extent that you're willing to get yourself in a huge debt....And for what? Semata-mata to impress a girl?? Come on!! Reality check please!

If you really love a person and you know that person is still studying (for my age), don't expect too much. And for me, I don't like guys who berlagak want to bring me to Sushi King la Atmosfera la apaka....because I know you can't afford it. You working kah?? Where does your money come from in the first place?? Your dad kan? It's not yours. So don't sebarang spend it like it grows on trees. Your dad worked hard for it and so you must spend wisely. If you earn your own. Well, it's okay. But still, cheaper food tastes a whole lot better than expensive ones.

To me, a perfect lunch (or a perfect dinner) can be at Hui Sing hawker stall eating Kolo Mee/Kueh Chap/Crispy Pork Rice/Laksa etc. Why? First of all, it's cheap. Yes. Dollars and cents do count on dates. Second, not only is it cheap, it's better than any other expensive food. Anyway, is Sarawak delicacy a Spaghetti Bolognaise? No. I believe it is Italian. And so, why eat Italian when you're not even in Italy. Reknowned chefs like Anthony Bourdain hit the streets to get the local and the best cuisine. Not some fancy restaurant. =)

To end this post, I resent guys who impress girls with money. It's pointless. I don't what that from you. I want you to be YOU. Not another plastic stereotype. I may enjoy simple things but I can tell you I don't think in a simple way.

JUST BE YOURSELF.

Lalala~~

2009-10-11T15:26:00.002+08:00

Don't know what to post since there's no happening yet....so.....I'll just post up my cover on Paramore's We Are Broken for you guys to watch. I'm still an amateur so I hope you don't mind my sloppiness. I ain't that big deal of a singer either. But I still hope you guys like it! =D

Pain Is Just A Simple Compromise

2009-10-11T00:24:00.003+08:00

I really don't know if I'm choosing the right path. I really don't know what I'm really good at. I just don't know. Oh God, I hope the thing I do now is what You want me to do. Because I feel lost and I feel that I suck at what I'm doing.

Mechanical Engineering...

Why is it so hard?

Now I'm told that this is life, pain is just a simple compromise.

Anyway, stop being so emo!! Hahahaha......cos I'm not. Just thinking bout my studies is freaking me out! Programming....such a tough subject! Many people fail the subject. And the thought that I may fail too is freaking me out!!! I've been spending way too much time hanging out with friends and my dear beloved. And last week was Swinburne's semester break and I went to campus, kononnya mok study la tek. Check2, I online la...lepak la....main game la...all thanks to Arvin who pestered us to have a CS tournament. And yes. I was a gamer. But I repented from that god forsaken tomboy past.

And so, for the past few days, I kept telling myself to turn over a new leaf. Worked a while then I relapsed into lazyness. And told myself to turn over a new leaf....and it goes on and on. And now, I am finally turning over a new leaf for good.....again. Spent this day trying to study and understand C programming. Like I said to Stephen the other day,"I'ma study..for real this time." Cos I kept bumping into him during semester break and he's been asking "What are u up to?" Kept giving him the answer "I'ma study." But I never did. It was a BIG, FAT LIE. LOL.

My blog skin is so emo looking. Haha! I wana make it more...cheery....just like me. =) Always smiling. But when I'm a sour puss, I am a sour puss. I get both extremes. But I'm more cheerful than I am angry or emo. So the blog has to look like the owner. The again, I don't really have the time to sit down and discover the wonders of Photoshop and make my blog look alive! Sighs...........

Okay, gotta sleep! Promised him I'd be sleeping by 1am.
Haha...such puppy love.

2009-10-10T10:26:00.000+08:00

Where is my motivation? =(

Beauty Is Skin Deep

2009-10-08T21:15:00.002+08:00

Okay...let's review my desires in life. =)

1. Trusting God.....check and un-check. Cos at times I do, at times I doubt Him.

2. Be active in Extra Curricular Activities.......un-check. I haven't found a club I'm interested to join.

3. Drive.....check.

4. Meet new friends.....check.

5. Get a scholarship.....un-check. Yet to apply for one.

6. Obtain HDs for all subjects. Un-check....but I got good grades. =D

7. Get a boyfriend?...........check. =)

Being a girl, I like makeup. And I enjoy putting on makeup actually. However, I don't use it to campus. I don't see why I should since I think I look much more beautiful without it on. Anyway, I haven't got the time to put it on. And no, I am NOT willing to wake up early just for that. I am not a slave to beauty. Beauty serves me. Sides, I just use makeup cos I love colours. I put it on as art. Not to give myself the illusion that I am more beautiful putting it on. Of course, I use a little bit of lip balm when I look pale but I don't use any other makeup apart from that. Is lip balm even considered a makeup anyway??

What makes a woman beautiful? Even one of the top makeup artist, Bobbi Brown says that you don't need excessive makeup to look beautiful. And I can honestly tell you that all that makeup can't make you beautiful too. Eat right and being happy is the key to beautiful skin actually. All that Botox is not really helping in reducing wrinkles. Hey, I've seen some of my customers when I worked at a cafe early this year. They work at a nearby beauty parlour and some of them, obviously had a face lift...probably used Botox injections. Some of them, their lips were huge! Obviously not their real feature.... They had eyelash extensions and all that. (which made them look like they have camel eyes.) And some did not have very nice skin and tried putting on a lot of makeup to cover it up. But it didn't work.... All of that was not a pretty sight. (Well, some of them looked extraordinarily beautiful!)

I've had guy friends randomly tell me that they prefer girls without makeup on. (Well, they were looking at this girl who uses heavy makeup to campus.) And I've known these guys long enough to tell you that they are sincere and nice guys. Gentlemen too. And who says gentlemen have extincted? They're just right in front of you! It's just a matter of whether they think you're a decent girl to be with or not. =) And one of those guys happen to by my boyfriend. Consider myself blessed. =) You will also know a guy's a nice guy when they find girls who wear shorts repulsive. Just general...you can try and verify it to see if it works. =P

Anyway, girls...you're beautiful just the way you are. You don't have to wear all that makeup and wear shorts just to get a guy to notice you. Trust me on this. If a guy can love you when you're covered up, he truly does love you for who you are and not what you wear. To get a decent guy, be decent. That's all you need. And it IS worth it to be decent. And yes, I am a happy girl who so happens to have a guy like this. =)

I wana end with this cool verse I found in the Bible about a wife of noble character. Read on. =)

The Wife Of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her women servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate; where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31: 10-31

The Only Exception

2009-10-06T22:40:00.002+08:00

I finally had the chance to sit down and listen to Paramore's new album that I downloaded. Awesome songs I tell ya. And great lyrics. I love this one song, The Only Exception cos it really speaks about me. I actually enjoy being alone and enjoy being single. Only because life is a lot easier that way. No heart aches, no hurts. Just being in my own world and not having to care whether I hurt anyone or got hurt cos there's no one to hurt to begin with. Selfish life but that's how it just is. But it's all changed la.

This is to you, darling. You are my only exception because I love you. =)

THE ONLY EXCEPTION

When i was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And cursed at the wind
He broke his own heart
And i watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day i promised
Id never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe i know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And i've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know your leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Oh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, And Im on my way to believing.

Back By Popular Demand

2009-09-30T21:22:00.003+08:00

Obviously my title sound so....perasan. HAHA!!

Yeah. I decided to start blogging again. Hehehe....and I know my number of readers has dropped exponentially (mathematician's way of saying 'dropped dramatically'). But my purpose in blogging is not to be famous right? (Wrong!)

So my absence is due to my 'rising fame'. Cos I find that there are a lot of people who actually reads my blog (from Malaysia and out of Malaysia) and thank you so much for reading it. It's an honor that people actually do read my rants and find my ideas interesting.

But the thing is.....this....'rising fame' is scary to me. I came to a point in my life where I realize that I am a private person. And the thought of people that I do not know knows something about me. And the thought of some random kid in college go "Hey, you're the author for Scribbles of A Girl right?" scares me. All of this scares me. But the fact that I am blogging right now means that I am giving it a second chance. But of course, I'll only write what people want to read. Nothing so very personal. Maybe a little. Like I said, who would want to read a blog post that's just talking mushy stuff about a guy right? I wouldn't want my dear readers reaching out for a plastic bag and barf all the way. =) I'm too nice to do that.

There's lots going on in my life right now. Am doing my 1st year Degree in Mechanical Engineering. Yay! =( Life just gets harder. And at times, I wonder why I have to do things I don't enjoy to get by in life? It's.....unfair. But what to do? Without money, we can't pursue our dreams. That is a fact.

I met a new friend this semester! Yay! =D Well, I thank God for her because she is truly a prayer answered. =) Because I had a friend in Foundation who is high maintenance. Not in terms of money, but in terms of care. And she has been a burden on me. The only reason why I didn't 'dump' her is because she doesn't really have friends and is constantly having suicidal thoughts. And she's always making me feel guilty. After my Foundation studies was over, I really asked God that she wouldn't continue here in Swinburne but elsewhere. And I asked God for a friend. Better than her. I even gave God the criterias that I wanted in a friend. LOL if you like, but it WORKED. He gave me a friend, though she arrived 3 weeks later. Haha..... God works in amazing ways man.....and guess what? She is everything that I wanted in a friend...sama palak but not so sama. If you get what I mean. =P

Okay, that's all. (Well, not really.)

Pa Dap Pap Pa Dap Pap Pa Ah.....

2009-09-06T18:21:00.002+08:00

Hey there!

Yeah...I know my blog's been stagnant and boring. meh. Blogging's getting boring. Well, not really. Haha. Actually, I've loads of ideas floating in my head and by the time I get to my PC, I just don't feel like sitting down and blog. I just need "THE MOOD". LOL.

Anyway, I logged in just to post a video. It's New Empire's New Empire TV. Watch it closely. =P

Enjoy! (^^,)

2009-08-21T12:29:00.002+08:00

I'm having a really bad stomachache since last night. I don't know what's going on but I think it's a gastric. Went online to see the symptoms and turns out that it's not caused by not eating as I thought it was but it's due to an inflamed stomach lining that could be caused by alcohol consumption. So I'm not going to classes today. Good thing I only have a 2 hour lecture today.

I wanted to post something today.....but due to the pain in my stomach, guess not. =/

I love Chinese Guy

2009-08-15T11:54:00.001+08:00

He's right about some stuff. You gotta check this guy out. Warning: Boleh menyebabkan anda terasa sikit. =]

Complaints

2009-08-15T10:53:00.002+08:00

I think Swinburne's boring. Yes. You heard me. The most 'glamorous' college is by far the most boring Uni you could ever go to. The activities that they have like Battle of The Bands...Swin Night...Prom Night..... It's all getting boring. And I can tell you that 80% of the activities (like Swin Night) are like ones where you must dress to kill....music....it's so.....typical. I envy people in Unimas. Unimas seem to have the craziest and lamest but fun activities.. I want that. I might as well transfer to Unimas but........study wise, I still like Swinburne. You know, when I tell people that I'm in Swinburne, they're like "wow...nice....cool! One of the prestigous Uni in Kuching and bla, bla, bla..." All the activities we have...they're more for like the rich people kinda activities. Why can't we have like Malam Kebudayaan ka.....Malam Citrawarna ka....or anything like that. Well, I don't wana join Student Council as I said, people in there are snobs and such. I won't fit in...or....I'll end up becoming like them. No, I won't give up my humanity. I don't want to be yet another typical plastic Swinburne kid.

And don't you think Secret Recipe cakes suck? Well, except for Chocolate Indulgence.... The rest are just not nice. People actually couldn't believe my birthday cake was from Mita and not Secret Recipe. Sorrylarr.....Secret Recipe punya "Moist CHocolate Cake" is so not moist.... I still love Mita's stuff. They specialize in baking. Of course better than Secret Recipe.

And Paramore's Ignorance Official Video is out on MTV!

While everyone's into Lady Gaga......

2009-08-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

I'm into Little Boots. I just love the British pop scene like Lily Allen.

Enjoy. =]

Ol' Times

2009-08-05T18:19:00.003+08:00

WOohoo!! I'm going back to band again!! Woohoo!! Im' STOKED!!! This time as Colour Guard. Someone dancing...I know....so weird kan? Hahaha...ME.... Dancing........ But I'm more into throwing those flags. =]

Going back to school again...hahaha........that's gona be fun....and weird. Cos...every other band member will be those still schooling while I might be the only one who's not. The only alumni there.....hmm........ Kinda feel weird cos there would be no one my age to talk to but it's always refreshing to talk to people younger than you......Cos they make you feel young again. HAHAHA....... and then you'll realise you're older and wiser cos they come to you with many problems and you have a 1001 advice to give them. Hahaha....

I know it's gona be really stressful juggling between band and studies cos I'm gona start my Degree real soon...as in, NEXT WEEK!!! WOW....... I really wonder if I can cope. But.....if you were a band member and you have a chance to do it all over again, you would definitely to do at all cost.

I'm not so hard core as compared to last time. If The Cavaliers or Blue Devils win....meh, I don't care nemore. Since I'm no longer in it....it doesn't seem to make me excited anymore, for all I care. All I care is that I am in a marching band and still doing it. Anyway, watching it makes me miss being in a marching band even more! And it makes me fantasize about joining it once again. I definitely didn't want my head to be bubbled up with my imagination. Also, I don't wana watch some other team win, I want MY team to win. Well, this kinda mentality was instilled in me during Kester's era in Green Chords. I became unusually competitive.

So what's a marching band? It's kinda like a uniform body that plays an instrument. I guess that's how you categorize that. Well, what we do for every band practice is pretty much the same. We spend day up till night in school on Saturdays to practice, practice and practice. Amidst all that work, we still have a fair share of play. We have our crazy times.

A day in band practice kicks start with physical training. And this is one of my favourite. It pumps up adrenaline into every nook and cranny of your body. Physical training starts at 7.30am and can last until 9am? It varies actually.... So we're pretty fit cos physical training's very intense. It includes the usual joggings, suicides, carrying chairs over your head for 5 minutes, stretchings and loads other weird physically draining things you can think of. I hate frog jumps but it's good.

After that would be body flexibility exercises where we do exercises that helps make our body more flexible. Followed by our marching fundamentals where we learn our physically strainous marching stuff. Easy but if done over and over again, it's tiring and boring. And you'll get annoyed with people who just can't get it right.

Then comes the fun and the best part........the actual action where we start doing our formation which starts at about 10am before the sun's scorching hot.

That's part of our schedule for practice. And it goes on till night. And we do this for months to complete a 10 minute show. It is amazing how we put in a lot of time to perfect something that lasts only minutes. And those 10 minutes would be the best adrenaline pumping moment of your life cos after all those hard work, you can finally show your stuff to everyone.

That's one of the joy of marching band for me. I love being at the field doing my stuff and showing it off. It's just what I love to do - performing. To me, marching band is a place to cultivate performers and creative people. Cos on field, we can let our imagination go wild and put up crazy choreography. In a way, marching band could be a kind of performing art. Maybe it is but I just didn't know.

I love what I'm doing and I am not going let this chance go, that's for sure. =]

Passions

2009-08-04T22:33:00.002+08:00

Okay. So I finally decided to seek the magic of the self proclaimed dry skin specialist, Rosken. And I have to say, it worked. I see a significant difference after my first usage.

What made me not pick this body lotion in the first place despite it being well known as the dry skin specialist and having rave reviews from magazines? Simple. It doesn't smell very......perfume. And the packaging doesn't look interesting.

But it works like magic. So I'll have to ignore the smell and the uninteresting packaging for awhile. I need my legs to stop looking like I have neglected it. Smooth and beautiful legs, here I come! =D

Anyway, other than that....this holidays have got me thinking, a lot. For my recent birthday, I had lots of people wishing me happy birthday and thank you all so much by the way. One of them from Anders...he was talking about my fashion line and hope that I will get into it. Ohh.....those dreams I had when I was in secondary school...... I really wonder if they can actually materialize. I've always been a loner when I was in Form 5 and Anders was the one that I truly talked to. So of course, I also shared my hopes and dreams to him.

The thing is....it really got me thinking.....am I just dreaming too much? Seriously, I have lots of dreams of doing music and on the side, put up a fashion line. But now.....I still love music....I still love fashion.....just that, the fashion thing...... I think it's a world filled with plastic. I for one, don't think I can be different. And.......it also got me thinking that.....maybe I'm dreaming too much. Cos right now, I'm barely doing anything about. Music yes. But fashion, no. =(

Apart of me says that I'm just a big dreamer but destined to be a mere engineer. But another part of me tells me that I am born creative and not conforming to anything 'normal'. It also tells me that in this life, we don't have to be what we HAVE to be, which for me...is being an engineer. Sadly, my life at present, tells me that I'm not even taking any initiative of breaking the cycle of laziness and normalities that prevents me from developing my music and also fashion. Also, other duty calls..... Mostly doing church stuff. So okay, I suck at time management. But what can I do? I do spend a handful of time doing music...been jamming and stuff and doing some personal development on the piano but......throughout the holidays, I don't even have a single inspiration for a song! It just plain suck..and now, holidays are almost over..

I gotta do something....salvage every bit of myself that I can gather. Tonight, I shall start coming up with something. Tomorrow, I need to get working on the things that I love to do before it's too late!

Oh...I just remembered that I have to see Abg Zul tomorrow regarding my loan application. Boohoo......so much for kick-starting my passions.

B-Day

2009-08-01T00:17:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to ME
Happy Birthday to ME

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthdaaayyyyy....................................

Happy Birthday to
ME

Fix You

2009-07-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

Oh man....this is an awesome cover of Fix You. Sung by a girl!! You gotta check this out...

Wishing

2009-07-28T23:48:00.002+08:00

Since my birthday's coming up real soon, I wana put up my wish list. =P I hope it makes it easier for you all to get me a gift. =)

I would like to have.....

CDs of my favorite bands. Paramore and Coldplay would be lovely. Fall Out Boy, The Script and All American Rejects are cool too. Or...if you think a band would be of my liking, I'm okay with it. I like listening to something fresh and new. For Paramore, I specifically want The Final Riot CD/DVD. =D Oh, and Hillsong's new album is alright too.

I love T-shirts. Especially printed ones with interesting quotes on them. Heh. Like my "Don't Trust Your Boyfriend" tee. I love it but I don't believe in it. =P Don't believe what the T--shirt tells you.

I'd love to have that Wireless Microphone but it's costs RM600++ so let's just skip that.

I like accessories. Necklaces are definitely my favorite.

Artsy stuff are cool too. I like things that I can decorate my room with and it can definitely add a memory of you to my room. =)

Strictly no teddy bears. Unless you want me to skin you alive. I may be cute but I don't like cute and furry things lying around in my room.

Hehehehe........please get me one of these...pleeaaasseeeeee................................

*smiles sweetly and flutters eyelashes*

how can you resist that look??

=P

Jamming!

2009-07-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

Wow.... I really enjoyed practice just now. Love the jamming session with my musicians Thomas, my brother, Raphael and our latest and definitely staying pianist, Ruby. We are now complete! No need to borrow the 'older' pianists. Now, we all have the same feel, into the same music.....in other words, we are all sama palak.

Well, what we did was jam Taylor Swift's Love Story, punk version. =P The wonders of jamming kan. And we did all that in the CHURCH SANCTUARY, complete with head banging and stuff. Crazy aye? Worldly...so worldy....=P Very rock la....dahlah while we were doing those unrelated-to-practice stuff, people who were gona attend the event at the Parish Centre came to the church and were totally watching us! Bangga la...but malu also........

Sadly, time was limited so we can't jam long enough. Boohoo.....I so love jamming now. I wana jam summore....

Celebrate?

2009-07-22T00:14:00.001+08:00

Being able to get through Degree is suppose to be a good thing kan? =)

But when your friends are left behind and you're the only one, it is a sad thing. =(

Sadder still when he didn't make it through with you as well.

So....

Celebrate?

I think not.

=(

Hot Days

2009-07-21T21:59:00.003+08:00

Today....woke up kinda early cos I couldn't really sleep. Boohoo.....

So I just did some housework before I got ready to get my results. Yes!! Today is the day I collect my result!! So I go lohh....take my result lohh....and you know what? Of all the subject to fail, I failed Innovation and Change. Yes, the darned Innovation and Change. I feel like I don't have dignity to fail Inno. I accept failing Engineering Physics. I accept failing Engineering Maths (B). But Innovation and Change?? It really caught me off guard. I think it caught EVERYBODY off guard. This time round, the marking is really strict and so, lots of people failed Innovation and Change for the first time in history. I envy those who took the subject last sem.

After taking my results, had lunch with him. Yes, it is something that I missed very much. After that I went home. The day is so frigging hot, sat directly in front of the fan and just watch TV. Actually, I was about to go out with him when my mom told me to go pick up my bro from school. Spoil kan? Oh well. It's not that I get to do that all the time you know. I missed it so much! And when the holidays are over, I'll never see it again. =( Which means, no Leverage, no House, no Two and a Half Men.....oh.... I don't look forward to the day we part, oh TV!

Oh, and I did something to my room. =) When the refurbishment is done, I shall show you my crib. =D Right after that...surprise, surprise....he called me. It just confirms something.

That pretty much sums up this hot day.

2009-07-21T18:56:00.001+08:00

Lunch with you isn't enough.

If only it was longer.

Compassion

2009-07-20T12:15:00.002+08:00

Whoa...You know how God is so awesome? Lately, I've been thinking of how I can contribute to society through the church and I have thought of something. And in my mind, the word "Compassion" keeps bombarding my mind. And what's weird - or should I say, awesomer is that this year's theme for the 40 Days Fast and Prayer is Love Our Neighbour. And also, I was reminded of this song which.....speaks of compassion and helping people who are less fortunate than we are. Like, WHOA!!! kan?

Solution

It is not a human right
To stare not fight while broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find the mercy for the need

Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

It is not too far a cry
Too much to try to help the least of these
Politics will not decide if we should rise
And be your hands and feet

Singing...
Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

Whoa-oo-ooh
God, be the solution
Whoa-oo-ooh
We will be your hands and be your feet
Yeah Yeah

Higher than our circumstance
You promised and you loved for all to see
Higher than our protest lines and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

Whoa-oo-ooh
God, be the solution
Whoa-oo-ooh
We will be your hands and be your feet

Whoa-oo-ooh
God, be the solution
Whoa-oo-ooh
We will be your hands and be your feet
Whoa Yeah

Only you can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
You erase complete, the sinner's past
And set the captives free

Only you can take the widow's cry
And cause the heart to see
Be the Father to the fatherless
Our Saviour and our King

We will be your hands
We will be your feet
We run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be your light,
We will you light

We will be your hands
We will be your feet
We run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be your light,
We will you light

Whoa-oo-ooh
God, be the solution
Whoa-oo-ooh
We will be your hands and be your feet

Whoa-oo-ooh
God, be the solution
Whoa-oo-ooh
We will be your hands and be your feet

We will run
We will run
We will run with the solution

We will run
We will run
We will run with the solution

We will be your hands
We will be your feet
We run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be your light,
We will you light we´ll sing

Love Our Neighbour

2009-07-20T11:42:00.005+08:00

It's the time of the year again. The time where almost all churches in Malaysia will be praying and fasting for our nation. Yup. It's the annual 40 Days Fast and Prayer season! And this year, I want to take it seriously.

It starts on 22nd July until 30 August, a day before our National Day.

Love Our Neighbour

In case you don't know, this 40 Days Fast and Prayer is organized by the National Evangelical Christian Fellowship (NECF). To know about the history of it's formation, click here.

I love the Christian way of fasting. We don't fast cos of rituals. Except Catholics who fast on Fridays for I don't know why. Anyway, we fast for a purpose and we use the fasting time to pray for something that burdens us. In other words, the time we spend to eat will be used to pray. But fasting isn't confined to food only. Fasting is actually giving up something you LOVE to do so that you can pray for important stuff.

For me, I need to eat cos I'm skinny. I'm really scared of becoming underweight. And so, I thought of another thing to fast. I'm thinking of going on a Facebook fast. Yeah...something that I love to do. But I should go on a full Internet fast. As in, no Facebook, no MSN and no blogging. Ohhh.......susah kan? And replace all those HOURS spent on the Internet to do something better - to pray for Malaysia.

So....
I'm praying for my country.
Are you?

2009-07-19T21:17:00.001+08:00

The holidays have got me thinking......

2009-07-19T13:00:00.001+08:00

Hey! Check out this cover of Paramore's Decode!

2009-07-18T09:26:00.002+08:00

Hey....how come there's no comment for my last post??

This shows how nosy you people in my personal life.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.....

Ke-boring-an, Sila Meng-entertain-kan

2009-07-16T21:20:00.007+08:00

Tonight is one of those nights where I can say "It's so hot that I can just wear my bra and underpants and just watch TV."

But I am doing quite the contrary. Hahaha. Easier said than done for me. Right now I am in the living room enjoying the air-cond but dreading my dad banging on the piano. -.-" Well, he's enjoying it so I'll just zip it.

Anyways, what will I blog tonight? Well, I was going through my friend, Melissa's blog and read her post on her top 6 hot guys. The thing is, I don't have any. I am oblivious to the hot guys of Hollywood. They look all the same to me. When I see Hollywood stars, I see how they dress so I guess I'll make my list of Top 5 Most Fashionable People (As According To Christine). It is judged entirely by ME, it is MY own opinion. So I don't need YOU to criticize ME. Well, I sound harsh cos I don't want people flaming me after this. I'm taking this precaution because of my Edward Cullen post last time caused someone to go frantic and totally flamed my blog and pretended to be multiple other people and filled my cbox with utter rubbish and calling me a loser. But seriously, who's the loser here? I envy Edward Cullen. Because he's not as good-looking as Jo Jonas or as sexy as Justin Timberlake but he gets the girls crazy to the extent they want to defame me and probably KILL me for saying he's ugly. But it is fact. You only say he's good looking cos of his dreamy eyes in the movie Twilight. It's all just so cliche. Remember High School Musical? Yeah, Zac Efron got his big hit there. The exact same way how Edward Cullen got his. All except, Zac Efron is more good looking.

Back to topic!

As I was saying....

My list of Top Fashionable People are...

First up...

Katherine Elizabeth Hudson or nama glamour nya....Katy Perry.

Hey, I just like her kinky style. She doesn't really conform to stereotypes so she's definitely one of a kind. Her style is....retro sexy with makeup that is doll-like. Definitely love it! And her body...not the typical stick-like figure of a model. Very sexy and very much coveted by many, I believe. People always look at Rihanna or Beyonce....but never Katy Perry. Sad...but needledd to say, she is beautiful in her own way.

Wonder what's she doing.
Photo courtesy of flickr.com

My next pick is...

A British model who is at the pinnacle of her career and she rules the runway. She walked on the runway for names like Anna Sui, Chanel, Dolce & Gabanna, Stella McCartney and also Versace to name a few. Formerly the face of Burberry...yes, she is none other than Agyness Deyn (her nama glamour also la..but I forgot what's her real name). Her style is definitely that of a rocker chick. That's why I like it. Very laid-back and a style that can be used daily.

After Agyness would be....

Again British. A poised young lady. You know her through the famous novel made into a movie, the Harry Potter series. That's right, it is Emma Watson.

Emma Watson is a very bright young lady and mind you, she is the same age as I am which makes her very, extremely extraordinary. She's also a sportswoman as well. A very accomplished young girl. And to top that off, she is the new face of Burberry.

This is my personal favourite.

These photos were taken from her Teen Vogue photo shoot. She actually consult her own styling. So I must say I love her style. Very classy...very....British. For me, I think if I wana go for dinners and stuff like that, I'd emulate this kinda style. I dig this.

The top of my list goes to......

Gwen Stefani.

What else can I say? She's beautiful.

Here ends my list of Fashionable Women.

=)

Hope you enjoyed it.

You Would Love To Read This

2009-07-14T23:24:00.002+08:00

I must admit. I am a bit of a loner. And I do guard my privacy. And I get a bit anxious when people (even my friends) want to come over. Mostly due to the planning involve. My house do have many dwellers. But it is something I have to get over at times. Because I tell myself that I can't always be a loner and keep my privacy all the time. And thankfully, with this thinking, it gives me a fair share of solidarity and having company.

And...the reason for being a little quiet bout my love life is because it is my personal life. So personal life's gotta be personal. And I am trying to keep it personal. Who wants to know the mushy details about it anyway? I mean, if I were to read my friend's blog and reading all the mushy details about her love life.....I would desperately need a plastic bag. To save you from such a thing, I'd prefer to spare you the details.

But there is one thing I need to let out. I fear something....I don't know how to put it in words. Like last time, I was so "in love" or so I thought I was "in love" only to find that I was just the flavor of the month. I was placed in a position where I was so very much hopeful and then....I was left with just hopes and promises and 3 words that actually meant nothing. Of course I was sad. Who wouldn't be? For a day, I just felt like hiding in my room and shed tears but instead, my mother took me out and had no choice but to hold back the sadness that burdened my heart. Worse of all, he didn't even know I was upset because every time we meet, I just smiled and acted like nothing happen. Life just went on normally with us still talking but the hurt just couldn't go away...until I started college that is. But still, seeing him just reminds me that I musn't be foolish and let my feelings get carried away. And so, I still feel the pain but more to shame which acts as a reminder not to repeat such a thing ever again. Also, this kind of thing is enough to shatter my self-esteem even though people tell me I am beautiful and I do think I am beautiful....but...more often than not, the question of "Am I really that beautiful?" does pop up. And I do compare myself with other girls and convincing myself that other girls are much more beautiful than I.

Of course I feel like revenging...who wouldn't? Both parties abusing their good looks for personal gains. But of course, it doesn't make me any better than him. So I don't wana do it. And who says people like me don't get hurt? I decided I don't want to do this to anyone. And so, I'm not playing around. And don't be surprised that it is so difficult for me to say 'I Love You' these days. Because I am SICK of lip service.

To YOU, I hope you're serious cos I don't want you to play around with my feelings. It's enough that I've been hurt once. If only I could read minds, it would be so much easier. But I can't. Sometimes I think you're serious but at times, I think you're just playing with me. So I don't know. I feel like I can't take you seriously at all. Sometimes...ahh....nevermind. I'll stop here.

Gifts

2009-07-10T22:52:00.002+08:00

No offense but....

I hate it when people give me gifts that aren't useful. I really don't like things that accumulate dust cos it makes me sneeze a lot and it doesn't look nice.

I like practical gifts. Gifts that I can use. It is those gifts that make me very happy. Unless you know my taste and can find something perfect to decorate my room, it is an exceptional case. You can buy things that aren't useful. But if you don't, just buy me scented soap or scented candles and that's enough to make me happy. Seriously. I like those kind of things. Or maybe a cleanser or what not. Anything that I can use, it makes me happy.

I hate Teddy Bears. They're cute and all but I don't place them in my room. And I DON'T cuddle it all the time and make it a necessary item for me to bring with me when I go traveling. I'm really not that kind of girl. I don't like things going to waste so don't bother buying me a Teddy Bear.

Please, don't waste your money on things that cannot be used. I like to save and make full use of everything.

Factum Per Litteras

2009-07-03T23:59:00.003+08:00

I am now a free woman!! Woohooo!!! =D

This marks the end of my Foundation program in Swinburne.

Just now was the most terrifying subject in my whole entire life! Cos the first test which is the Mid-Semester test was so hard, I failed. 10 more marks and I could've passed. I have never been this afraid to fail. Even though last time Add Maths was hard to me, I didn't care cos I attend government school. It didn't matter if I fail cos I don't pay much for school fees. But for Engineering Physics, it's a whole different story. It hard. And worse still, I'm in a private university which means I pay a lot for it. Though my parents aren't paying for it, I still have to maintain my grades in order for Yayasan Sarawak to continue funding me.

Moreover, if I fail the subject, to resit it alone already costs RM300. And if I do fail again for the resit, I have to repeat the subject alone for another semester. Which also means, I have to pay RM1000++ just for that. Meaning to say, I literally CAN'T AFFORD TO FAIL.

And this is actually a good thing. Ever since studying in a private university, I try not to take things for granted. Because if I start doing so, I might have to pay a high price for it. So I can say that studying in a private university is much better than studying in a government one. Cos money is a very strong drive. And it can drive you to do better.

I hear some of my brother's friends saying that studying in a private university (aka Swinburne) only encourages you to play. I beg to differ. It's not true! You pay a lot so you CANNOT afford to fail! This statement is coming from Bumis alright. And I know some Bumis think that they are only confined to government university only because most of us come from middle class families who have moderate incomes so they want to make use of their Bumi status to get into government unis. So they tend to think that they can't get the best and can't afford and hence, there's no hope for entering private uni. It's entirely not true for Swinburne. There is hope for Bumiputeras. In fact, they make Bumis first priority for Yayasan Sarawak loans. You practically don't pay back until you graduate and have a job. But grades have to be maintained in order for them to continue funding you. In a way, Taib's paying for you through Yayasan Sarawak cos the money comes from Sarawak's timber.

So to commemorate my time here in Swinburne, I shall tell you my story of how I got into Swinburne...

Actually I had an offer to go for KML (Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan) but I didn't want it. At the time, I wasn't really ready to leave Kuching and I want to go for private university. But my results wasn't good to get a scholarship to enter a good private uni. So decided to settle for Form 6. I tried to get in to Form 6 but the school authorities just didn't want to encourage me to do so, saying that I have better opportunities to go for local unis if I go for KML. I still didn't want to.

Go home kinda bummed. I had a dilemma. Then the though of Swinburne came to mind. My best friends know that I mati-mati don't want to ever go Swinburne. But at the time, I guess I was desperate. I didn't even know if I could even pay for it. So I just told my parents "Hey, why don't we just take a look? I mean, we don't have to commit to it right? We just eksen2 go just to inquire about the courses available. Who knows? I might have a chance." I just wanted to try push my luck. You never know when you can have a chance.

So after inquiring and showing my results, Azreen (the girl who attended to us) got excited after seeing my results. She said that I am entitled for Yayasan Sarawak's scholarship loan which means that after I graduate, I pay half the total of my loan. Of course, my dad, mom and I were thrilled because I have the opportunity to study in a private uni. Immediately, I signed-up for Swinburne without hesitating cos this is a golden opportunity.

Truly, I do believe that it was divine intervention. I mean, I could've dwelled in the thinking that I have no hope in going for a private university but I obeyed the prompting that God placed in my heart to just go to Swinburne. It takes obedience. When it is God's will, He will make a way for you. In my case, He made a way for me. My parents aren't forking out the money for my course fee. They only paid for the entrance fee which is under RM200. And the rest, was God's providence in the form of Yayasan Sarawak Scholarship Loan.

This is my story. To all Bumis out there, especially Bidayuhs and Ibans, don't give up hope. If you can have the best, go get it. You have Bumiputera status. Make full use of it to get the best. I don't want to settle for places like KML or UiTM. They have lectures in a hall crammed with many students with one lecture and sometimes, a busted air cond. I don't call that a conducive learning environment. At Swinburne, everything is in good condition. You don't have that many people in one class. I've got good lecturers too. Everything there just very canggih....and I am happy that I can be a part of it. And I thank God for the opportunity to be able to study in a good university like Swinburne.

By the way, did you know that our crest has a Swine aka a PIG in it?

High Maintenance

2009-06-30T18:45:00.002+08:00

To be honest.....

I can't wait till my best friend is gone after my foundation studies. She'll be going elsewhere after this and I can't help but feel......relieved.

Not that she's bad or mean...it's just that, she's high maintenance. It's so hard to have a friend like her. The only reason she does not have any other friends is cos I'm the only one who can "maintain" her. And sometimes, I don't think that it's fair that I always have to try and perk up her mood and stuff. Cos she's the one who's always having problems and looking really emo. I mean, I have my own problems but I have Jesus. So my problems don't seem to be such a big deal actually. She's high maintenance not cos I spend lots of money on her but.....I spend a lot of my emotions and time on her. When she was down, I am the one she would turn to sometimes and when she doesn't have anyone to hang out with, I'd hang out with her. And when she was totally depressed one time, I actually went over to her room and tried to pujuk her and spent the whole day with her. High maintenance isn't it?

I don't know why some people just....can't seem to set their heads right. It's not fair for me but nevertheless, she is still my friend. Josef once asked me,"Why are you still hanging with her?" At the time, I really don't know what to say....but it made me think, it made me go..."Yeah....why?" Well, what would Jesus do if you were in my position? Would you just let her go and self-destruct? You wouldn't want that.....cos guilt will haunt you cos you KNOW you could've made a difference. I am trying to make what little difference I can make in her. Even if it means being unable to hang out with people that I like more often. The past few days, I have to admit that I wasn't studying with her but with other people. Being with Josef and the people he hangs around with makes me feel so relieved! With these people, I feel normal cos they're really normal people.

I'm sure you're asking why don't I bring her along. I tried, ok? Just this afternoon she was acting all anti-social but I forced to come anyway. I didn't want her to be alone in her room and sulking. I am pretty disappointed in her though. She didn't say much and on the way back she was just on the phone. It sucks to see her this way cos it was really rude. I know she's having loads of stress dealing with her new place of stay and her recently breaking up with someone who she was about to marry but didn't and Thank God for that! She said she wanted to have a new life. Right now, just seeing her that way, how can she when she can't even start a new life with these friends of mine? How? She can't even make herself comfortable.

And sometimes, her emo-ness can spread to me. -_-"

Well, I don't know but all I know is, I'm gona be one happy, jolly person after she's gone!!

Oh God, when I go to Degree, please, I know you want me to be a kind soul but.....can I not have a friend so high maintenance like this?

Bad Days

2009-06-24T23:42:00.002+08:00

Today, I am feeling the after effects of being sick. Yes, I was sick which sucks cos it wasted one day of studying!

Well, what happen was my cousin had a birthday party with a lot of eating. I went home and continued studying. At around 11pm, my stomach was feeling really weird! At first I could hold it, ignored it and continued studying but at last, it became worse so I decided to call it a night and went to bed. Couldn't really sleep though...till at one point I really felt like puking. And puke I did and it was no sleep for me..... I've experienced worse but definitely something that I'd wish would never happen again. However, it did. And so timely during my study break.

Went to the doctor the next morning, which was yesterday. Doc said that it could be food poisoning but unsure cos I'm not having diarrhea. And I was told to eat simple food. Aka porridge!! Nooooo..................... Suffered eating just porridge alone. Eewww!! And after that, I insisted to go to campus. Crazy huh? Yeah, it was. So I go loh....and I realized I look so pale. Bad. And I started feeling uneasy again. Super bad. Thank God Syaza was there so I asked her whether she can send me back. =P Insane I tell ya!

And I can't believe that I went to watch Transformers last night in that condition. Well, I couldn't sell my tic to anyone. Felt only a teeny bit better so I just go. Show was good. Unfortunately, I don't feel good which makes it very unenjoyable. Huhu.... So I need to watch it again. No point watching Star Premier when you're not feeling too good. It just spoils everything.

Today, my appetite's getting better but every time my stomach's filled, I feel like puking. =/ But at least I can still study despite this.

And thank God it's not Swine Flu.

2009-06-21T18:54:00.002+08:00

Friends, I need help. My church's gona have something called a Parish Sale and of course, coupons are sold. And I have a few, which hasn't been sold of, not even one. So...can you guys buy from me? RM10 per coupon.

Circus Cover

2009-06-19T01:09:00.001+08:00

You're gona love this version of Britney Spear's Circus. Cover by some Korean guys...it's rock of course. Like, duh!

Hols

2009-06-19T00:28:00.002+08:00

This holiday, I don't wana work. I wana spend time doing things that I have always wanted to do...like...writing songs and finalize some of the songs I've written. Some of my songs are 'hanging' to this day cos I can't really sit down and think it through. I want to complete any of them that are incomplete. Also, I wana continue trying my luck in making my clothes. After viewing Lala Liu's blog and seeing her own fashion show, it yet again ignited my dream. And I have not forgotten about my online shop. No, not yet.

So I hope to accomplish these things during my hols. I pray that I won't be lazy and waste my time on Facebook but rather, do all these constructive things. Amen!

2009-06-18T10:56:00.002+08:00

Next Tuesday night, I'm going to watch the premier of Tranformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen.

Sorry peeps...I know some of you want to watch with me but my siblings got me first. Lagipun, my sister yg bayar bah.... ahahahaaa....mestilah aku maok..

But if you all still wana watch with me, I'd be delighted cos I would definitely wana watch again!

2009-06-18T10:29:00.001+08:00

I just wana wish Gio a Happy Birthday!

Dude, you're old!!

HAHA....

Cannot chia you already. My tawaran sudah basi. You didn't want me to chia you yesterday bah...

Goldilocks and Curly Bear

2009-06-16T20:00:00.003+08:00

My blog don't have much pictures doesn't it?

And colours...

Sad huh?

Such a sad blog. =P

Well, Whatever.

Anyway, I want to tell you a story. You've heard of Goldilocks and the three bears right? Well, my story's just Goldilocks and the Curly Bear. =P

Goldilocks loves going to her aunt's house. Her aunt keeps a bear called Curly Bear. While Goldilocks is at her aunt's place, she loves sneaking into a room. Just that particular room. What she doesn't know is, Curly Bear lives in that room. But when every time Goldilocks is there, Curly Bear's never there cos it's out hunting for food. Goldilocks love going in there cos of all the good food stored in there. At first, she eats a little. Curly Bear came back and noticed a slight decline of food and asked,"Who ate my food?" But Curly Bear just shrugged it off cos it's just a little gone.

The next time Goldilocks came, she ate Curly Bear's food again. This time, she got a little carried away. Curly Bear came back and noticed some of it's food was gone. And Curly Bear growled,"Who ate my food???" Goldilocks' aunt heard Curly Bear growling and asked,"What's all this ruckus?" Then Curly Bear said,"Someone ate my food!!" Goldilocks' aunt replied,"It must've been rats." She knew Goldilocks ate Curly Bear's food but she is afraid Curly Bear would do something bad.

Then came the third time. This time, Goldilocks became greedy. She ate and she ate and she ate until Curly Bear came back and caught her red handed! Curly Bear was happy to find the culprit red handed but angry cos Goldilocks ate almost all of it's food supply. Such a selfish pig Goldilocks this! Curly Bear grabbed Goldilocks by her beautiful golden locks and eat her!!! Muahahaha!!!!! Padan muka!!! And Curly Bear said," Tak rugi I gather all these food to fatten up a little girl and eat her up. She tasty." =P--> The face of the satisfied bear. Curly Bear smiled away and sleep.

The end.

Tragic, isn't it? This story is a metaphor of something that happened to me today. It's so tersirat, that a bimbo can't understand this.

2009-06-16T19:54:00.002+08:00

There's a new (is it new?) online social networking site....Twitter. Another one of those Friendster (that's almost as good as dead) and Facebook thingy.

Yes, I am tempted to make an account. I am contradicting myself. Just when I told myself that I wouldn't want to have too many accounts, here I am, contemplating to have another social online networking account. I mean, all the time spent on Facebook could've been used for more constructive things. Like finishing up my Innovation and Change report. And yet, I Facebook. And yet, I still want to have a Twitter account.

SIN!!!

*okay, now I sound like one of those Amish people.*

SIN!!!!

Talk bout Reality!

2009-06-15T23:24:00.002+08:00

I was talking with Herbert and Rahim this afternoon. We were talking bout how uni life isn't a breeze at all. We were saying that we're just doing our 1 year foundation program and we're already feeling the pinch of reality. I guess cos everything's jam packed in one year. If we can't take foundation, what more to say degree?

So I came up with the silliest, yet the most enticing suggestion ever.

"You know what? I think I'll just quit school, get married and have babies."

"ohhh....you guys can't do that. You're guys. Your job is to take care of the family. I'm a girl so it's okay. =) I can find a rich old man to marry. But not you guys."

=P

Announcements

2009-06-14T18:12:00.001+08:00

I am happy to announce that Hitz will be playing Kris Allen's version of No Boundaries and not Adam Lambeth's.

And I am back from the boring Santubong resort. =D

Hmm....my cbox is stagnant. Am I losing readers? Oh please don't give up on my blog yet! =(

Please.... =)